"Withdraw"
...I can't keep your loving from my mind
It's worth more than gold, crystals and pride
Oh, I can't withdraw your heart from mine
You're the one thing that sticks right onto my side
No, I can't withdraw your heart from mine
How'd I get so stuck, so stuck to your side?
No I can't withdraw your heart from mine
You're the one thing that sticks, right into my side
I can't withdraw your heart from mine."
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Going Beyond The Status Quo
Status quo is a Latin term meaning the existing state of affairs.[1] It is a commonly used form of the original Latin "statu quo"
– literally "the state in which". To maintain the status quo is to keep
the things the way they presently are. The related phrase status quo ante, literally "the state in which before", means "the state of affairs that existed previously" (Wikipedia)
At one point does a person go from merely being who they are and living the life they live to changing (at least some of it) for the better?
While my life is wonderful in a lot of ways with good friends, a good job, etc., there are things that are within my control that I can do to make it better.
I'm talking about the weight thing again.
I just had a physical and since this issue has been on my mind for a little while, it of course came up in conversation with the Dr. (Well, it would have anyway considering where my weight is at these days.)
I told her that I felt it was really important that I be in control of the choices I made in eating right and losing weight. It has to be my choice all of the time to ensure that the changes I would be making would be permanent.
Consciously choosing to drink a lot more water. Choosing to not drink soda. Choosing salads and/or vegetables over chips or french fries. Choosing fruits over donuts.
I also said that losing the amount of weight that I'd like to lose seemed like an impossible dream. (It's a mountain too high to climb. A pit I've dug myself into that is too deep to get out of...)
That's really what it comes down to for me. I'm very discouraged by the enormity (pun intended) of the amount I've got to lose before I can look at myself and not turn away in ...disbelief.
If I want to do this the healthy way, we're looking at 1-2 lbs a week. And I'd like to lose about 100 so that means it's going to take me ...fuck, I hate math...I think almost a year to do that. A year. Fuck.
I guess I should maybe just go back to thinking about the "10%" goal I heard about once...that seems less daunting.
I also just might consider doing the Weight Watchers thing. Maybe.
Maybe this is the time that I finally realize that I can't do it on my own.
I guess I also need to take my own advice and just deal with it one moment at a time. One day at a time.
Oh, how I wish there really was a magic pill that would instantly melt the pounds off and keep them off. I understand why the diet industry is so huge. I understand why people would do crazy things all in the name of weight loss.
*sigh*
While I might tempted to try some quick fix...I know that it comes down to changing my eating habits and getting my butt moving.
At one point does a person go from merely being who they are and living the life they live to changing (at least some of it) for the better?
While my life is wonderful in a lot of ways with good friends, a good job, etc., there are things that are within my control that I can do to make it better.
I'm talking about the weight thing again.
I just had a physical and since this issue has been on my mind for a little while, it of course came up in conversation with the Dr. (Well, it would have anyway considering where my weight is at these days.)
I told her that I felt it was really important that I be in control of the choices I made in eating right and losing weight. It has to be my choice all of the time to ensure that the changes I would be making would be permanent.
Consciously choosing to drink a lot more water. Choosing to not drink soda. Choosing salads and/or vegetables over chips or french fries. Choosing fruits over donuts.
I also said that losing the amount of weight that I'd like to lose seemed like an impossible dream. (It's a mountain too high to climb. A pit I've dug myself into that is too deep to get out of...)
That's really what it comes down to for me. I'm very discouraged by the enormity (pun intended) of the amount I've got to lose before I can look at myself and not turn away in ...disbelief.
If I want to do this the healthy way, we're looking at 1-2 lbs a week. And I'd like to lose about 100 so that means it's going to take me ...fuck, I hate math...I think almost a year to do that. A year. Fuck.
I guess I should maybe just go back to thinking about the "10%" goal I heard about once...that seems less daunting.
I also just might consider doing the Weight Watchers thing. Maybe.
Maybe this is the time that I finally realize that I can't do it on my own.
I guess I also need to take my own advice and just deal with it one moment at a time. One day at a time.
Oh, how I wish there really was a magic pill that would instantly melt the pounds off and keep them off. I understand why the diet industry is so huge. I understand why people would do crazy things all in the name of weight loss.
*sigh*
While I might tempted to try some quick fix...I know that it comes down to changing my eating habits and getting my butt moving.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Happy 35th Anniversary
When my parent's had their 30th Anniversary 5 years ago I wrote them a letter to go along with the card. It was a letter about them and our family -the 4 of us. Not to brag, but it made everyone (except for my brother) cry. (Celebrating not only their marriage but acknowledging that we also became a family was something I felt needed to be expressed and part of that celebration.)
Tomorrow, it's their 35th Anniversary. Pop has invited a bunch of people over (and most are of them are from their congregation (past and present)) over to their place for a surprise party for my mother.
And this party -it's a poetry party. And there will be champagne (oh my!)
I think with all I've written about her, I don't think I've mentioned that among her many talents, she's a writer and that includes writing poetry. It's such a big part of who she is and it's helping her cope with the physical challenges she deals with.
I think it's a good idea that I called Pop this afternoon to because I really needed to know more details about tomorrow. It turns out it's not just going to be poetry, nibbles and champagne...he's also feeding everyone (making his delicious spaghetti.) From what I understand, there are going to be about a dozen people (if not more) there and he's going to need help BIG time.
So I'm going to do whatever I need to to help Pop set this up. (No whining allowed...Sam.)
I'm now realizing that while the impression he has given in the past has led me to think he feels trapped ...I now know that's NOT true. He really loves her. He isn't just staying because he has to. He is doing this because it's what SHE wanted to do for their anniversary.
(Note: I had called him because I wanted to ask if there might be a little time for us to have alone time, just the 3 (or 4) of us because I've been wanting to show them this thing I ...discovered last week, "Henri - Le Chat Noir". You have GOT to see this:
Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. And that's just the first one. There are quite a few more...)
OK... where was I?
Oh, yeah, the anniversary....
And I have to write a poem....
❤❤❤❤❤❤
So I'm working on my poem for the party right now. I'm nervous about having people I used to know and care about but have lost touch with share in something so personal.
It's a poem written for them, about them, but not only them.
I also need to admit that I'm feeling a little pressure. Pressure for it to be ...really good. My mom is a good poet and I want to impress her, them. (Impress Pop too of course. He has done a bit of writing himself and that includes poetry.)
What they think matters. And I hope they not only like it, but understand it. I want it to speak to them.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So here it is
(Keep in mind, this is the result from being a child of Suzy Sunshine and Eeyore.)
Truly, Madly, Deeply, In Love
It's why books are written and
songs are sung.
A sweeping, grand,
all-consuming thing.
It can lift you
higher than high
and bring you to your knees
and break your heart into a tiny-million pieces
(Dramatic you say? Well I am my mother's daughter)
But it is so much more than
highs and lows,
It's feeling safe and secure
in being yourself.
It's in the looks shared
that say a thousand things without
saying a word
It is selfless and selfish
And more precious than diamonds or pearls
It's the kiss
and in the kiss.
It's in the wanting to make someone
happy
and holding them when they cry.
It's in surprises
and in the comfort of the familiar.
It's passionate but calm,
simple but complicated,
It's the gift that keeps on giving
and doesn't cost a dime.
It's in the sharing of decades of
joy
sorrow
and everything in between.
It's in how you feel
knowing that you're loved
and love in return.
Tomorrow, it's their 35th Anniversary. Pop has invited a bunch of people over (and most are of them are from their congregation (past and present)) over to their place for a surprise party for my mother.
And this party -it's a poetry party. And there will be champagne (oh my!)
I think with all I've written about her, I don't think I've mentioned that among her many talents, she's a writer and that includes writing poetry. It's such a big part of who she is and it's helping her cope with the physical challenges she deals with.
I think it's a good idea that I called Pop this afternoon to because I really needed to know more details about tomorrow. It turns out it's not just going to be poetry, nibbles and champagne...he's also feeding everyone (making his delicious spaghetti.) From what I understand, there are going to be about a dozen people (if not more) there and he's going to need help BIG time.
So I'm going to do whatever I need to to help Pop set this up. (No whining allowed...Sam.)
I'm now realizing that while the impression he has given in the past has led me to think he feels trapped ...I now know that's NOT true. He really loves her. He isn't just staying because he has to. He is doing this because it's what SHE wanted to do for their anniversary.
(Note: I had called him because I wanted to ask if there might be a little time for us to have alone time, just the 3 (or 4) of us because I've been wanting to show them this thing I ...discovered last week, "Henri - Le Chat Noir". You have GOT to see this:
Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. And that's just the first one. There are quite a few more...)
OK... where was I?
Oh, yeah, the anniversary....
And I have to write a poem....
❤❤❤❤❤❤
So I'm working on my poem for the party right now. I'm nervous about having people I used to know and care about but have lost touch with share in something so personal.
It's a poem written for them, about them, but not only them.
I also need to admit that I'm feeling a little pressure. Pressure for it to be ...really good. My mom is a good poet and I want to impress her, them. (Impress Pop too of course. He has done a bit of writing himself and that includes poetry.)
What they think matters. And I hope they not only like it, but understand it. I want it to speak to them.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
So here it is
(Keep in mind, this is the result from being a child of Suzy Sunshine and Eeyore.)
Truly, Madly, Deeply, In Love
It's why books are written and
songs are sung.
A sweeping, grand,
all-consuming thing.
It can lift you
higher than high
and bring you to your knees
and break your heart into a tiny-million pieces
(Dramatic you say? Well I am my mother's daughter)
But it is so much more than
highs and lows,
It's feeling safe and secure
in being yourself.
It's in the looks shared
that say a thousand things without
saying a word
It is selfless and selfish
And more precious than diamonds or pearls
It's the kiss
and in the kiss.
It's in the wanting to make someone
happy
and holding them when they cry.
It's in surprises
and in the comfort of the familiar.
It's passionate but calm,
simple but complicated,
It's the gift that keeps on giving
and doesn't cost a dime.
It's in the sharing of decades of
joy
sorrow
and everything in between.
It's in how you feel
knowing that you're loved
and love in return.
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Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!