And yet ANOTHER horoscope keeper. Bazinga!

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Singing for your supper is never as easy as simply having it served to you; however, even though Leos feel like royalty, most of you still have to work for a living. However, there are ways and there are ways—even in a depressed economy, there ought to be a way to shift what you do to earn money to stuff that at least partially fulfills or challenges you. It's important for Leos to find that; unlike other signs, who can find other outlets for their personal fulfillment, you'll never do well for long at a job you despise. This week, focus at least on finding leads to a job you can get that you wouldn't hate, even years down the line.

(Sign Language/Seattle Weekly)

Holy crap!

1. I have been daydreaming about starting my own little business...for those who are not comfortable going on the internet, I would get them started with basics w/one on one "tutoring" ...

and

2. A co-worker has a relative who works for AMEX travel services and supposedly they're hiring in spring. I want to stay in the industry but need to get away from my current job where it's all about the numbers and not about the customer's satisfaction or true customer service.

So we'll see what happens with either of these things won't we?

Another horoscope that's a keeper!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In an episode of the animated TV sci-fi series *Futurama,* we get to see inside the headquarters of Romanticorp, where "love research" is being done. One of the experiments involves robots delivering various pick-up lines to actual women. The line that works best is "My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself." I recommend that you make that your own catchphrase, Leo -- not just this week but for the foreseeable future. The entire year of 2010 will be an excellent time to deepen your commitments and transform yourself, and the weeks ahead will bring unprecedented opportunities to intensify those efforts.

(freewillastrology/City Pages 2/24/10)

I love it! Is appropriate considering I've decided to make this year be about having wild adventures and the reason why being that I want to see myself transform into Sam 3.0 (I've said that being w/B makes me feel like Sam 2.0) ...I've got a lot of desire and potential to keep becoming a wiser version of myself and breaking out of my usual routine has only been good for me so far. More on this later.

Happy Birthday Blog!

So a year ago today this blog was created. And how thankful am I that I did this? I really didn't know if it would be something I would maintain once the initial thrill wore off. Thankfully it hasn't. I still enjoy having this outlet to express myself.

It's been quite a year hasn't it? While I thought I would focus heavily on TV, it turns out I've had a lot more to write about than that. (Especially in the past few months, the amount of TV I watch has decreased greatly. There is now only a handful of shows that I absolutely HAVE to see every week. I'm sure my preoccupation with the "games" at Facebook haven't helped have they? They're also what are keeping me from keeping up with all the library books that keep coming my way that don't get read. I'm barely keeping up with the latest works from my favorite authors...)

It's been an interesting year. Full of joys and sorrows. Highs and Lows. Pain and pleasure. And this blog is going to be here to remind me of all of it.

But maybe this is all I'm really going to say on the subject tonight.

Oh wait, one more thing about the blog...it's truly been a gift that I've had this form of expressing myself. I marvel at how easy it is to do even if I'm not inspired enough to write every single day. It's all mine and all me.

It's been a long week with my travels and spending time with family. Going back and forth to FL within 24 hours (but yes, the twice in 12 hours was worse) was exhausting especially with dramatic family members, delayed flights and a cranky brother (remind me to NEVER ask him to take me to or pick me up from the airport) I'm so wiped out, I am not even seeing my sweetie tonight. I'm gong to get to bed at a fairly decent time and try to get back onto a regular sleep schedule.

There is some good news too lest I sound like I'm whining....I start that Improv class this Saturday. It's official. I'm excited to be doing something different in my life.

It sure is a change of pace to really be living in the now and not constantly be worrying about how I think life should be going for me.

My life is working at a job that I don't love while loving the perk of free flights. It's loving a man who loves me back even if he can't give me one particular, very important thing that I want from him. It's being a big beautiful woman who uses her size to be different and stand out in the crowd but yet stands apart from that crowd afraid of their judgments. My life is having a family/parents that are drama queens and passionate, eccentric characters.

And you know, I could go on and on about lots of other things (couldn't I?) but frankly, I'm too tired. I've still got some laundry to finish and some tidying up to do of my room since I've been too tired to care about putting things away.

So until next time,

Onward. With the laundry basket in hand.

Yup.

Just a quick update so you know I haven't fallen off the edge of the world.

So much to do but oh so tired. Am still recovering from an awesome quick little trip to San Diego the night before last/Saturday night. Hopped a flight after work and was able to surprise Scotty for his birthday. It was so great to see him and to be able to do that is definitely the main perk of the job. After a few lovely cocktails (Bubble!) and a fun quick visit to their apt. it was back to the airport to catch the flight back home and to work. :( Sunday was torture....the days usually drag on but this was the worst yet but it really was oh so worth it.

I didn't realize how much I miss him until I was hanging out with him. We've definitely had some bumps in our friendship road over the years but the love is still there. I had a lot of growing up to do and the distance has only done us good I think. I was a wee bit too dependent on him when he lived in MN. Now we can just hang out and enjoy being old friends.

Now, tomorrow off to FL again for a day/night and then coming back with the parent's on Wednesday.

The fabulous said something really brilliant that I have decided is the perfect theme for my 2010...crap, what exactly did she say? Well, the main thing about it is that 2010 should be a year of wild adventures. It started off with a bang with the trip to Amsterdam. Now we'll just have to see what's next.

I'll crash soon as it's another earlier start tomorrow but not until I've finished putting laundry away...

Grrr...feel like there is stuff I'm forgetting to mention...the Improv class has yet to be finally confirmed but hopefully will happen. I did mention I'm doing that didn't I?

Well, if anything else important comes to mind, you'll be the first to know.

Onward. With shorts and flip-flops, sunny, warmer-than-MN-FL-here-I-come.

Life is good

Ah, another "Sunday" as a great and wild weekend comes to an end. Yesterday was the wild. My parents wanted to go down to FL to spend time with my aunt Sally. So in order for them to have higher priority on the standby list, I just went with them. Then I just hopped on another flight and came back up to MN. I don't think I'll be doing that again anytime soon though because it fucks you up physically. I went to bed before 2am last night and slept until about 2pm today.

Tonight, good. Dinner and more ( ; ) ) with my honey. He took me to Leaning Tower on University Ave. over by the U of M. Did you know they had a location besides the one on Lyndale Ave.? Yummy. ALL of it, just yummy.

Back to work tomorrow :( but I will just keep focusing on the fact that it's because of this job that I can just pop down to FL and back, for free! And because of the job I can toy with the idea of popping down to San Diego Saturday night after work to surprise Scotty for his birthday. Then just come home Sunday...but I'll only do it if I can get Sunday off. I'm not gonna attempt another drink-myself-silly-then-fly-home-and-go straight-to-work-still-drunk adventure again. Once was enough! It was a blast, but then torture to survive that next day!

So I've decided I am going to do the Improv class thing. Am now just waiting for final confirmation (they need to make sure there are enough people interested/registering before it's official.) If it does indeed happen, that will be exciting. Not thrilled about getting up a bit earlier to do it, but hey, that's life. Sometimes you have to get up earlier for it.

Hmm, what else? Eh, nothing else comes to mind right now. The world just keeps on spinning.

Onward. Just onward.

Love

The hot topic of the day is love. With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I thought it was time to write a little bit more about my favorite subject. I don't think I had this blog last year at this time (yeah, that's right, my 1 year anniversary is at the end of this month) and so didn't write about last years "celebration" and/or thoughts on the topic...

I know it's an overblown commercial holiday but I love it, especially the past few years now that I have had a real valentine.

For so many years I didn't have one and wanted one. I have had very few boyfriends and B was the first one who gave me a romantic valentines day. I keep dreaming and fantasizing about how I think romance ought to be and I know there are so many facets, levels and layers to it that count too. The reality is sooooooo much better.

And there is a lot to be said for being with someone you can be yourself with in all of your glorious moods. Not only do I have a few awesome friends and a roomfriend (new word...a roommate who is a friend or do I prefer friendmate?) who allow me that, but I've got this man in my life who really is doing his best to juggle a full life and still find ways to make me feel special, loved and wanted.

Our evening started kind of late but the time we had was perfect for us. An indoor picnic, sexy underwear (green is the new black! ;) ) and amazing cards exchanged (OK, his to me was amazing, mine for him was merely meh). Simple but sweet and passionate.

OK, enough of THAT talk/subject...

There have been other fantastic things the past 7 days...starting with last Thursday when I got together with Ryan for a very spur of the moment breakfast/lunch and movie ("When in Rome"...cute. B+) and then that night had a date w/B...and another week of work survived.

****

So I've thinking that I need to do something to shake up my life from it's usual routine so Jen the Fabulous (Note: she from now on will always be referred to as "the fabulous" :) ) has got me kinda excited about this women's improv class thingy at Brave New Workshop that starts on Feb. 27th and is from 10am to Noon.

"All Women Everyday 1 now available!
In this fun, all women, class you will learn the building blocks of improvisation. Discover ways to be more present in everyday conversation and cultivate your creativity in this perfect girl's night out of laughter, discussion and discovery. Lauren Anderson, Brave New Workshop main stage favorite, will get you on your feet and laughing and loving improvisation, and will invite guest artists to share their love and insight into the world of improvisation.

Saturdays: 10:00am - 12:00pm beginning Feb. 27th.
Class will run for 8 weeks..."

Doesn't that sound awesome????

Now the thing is I'd have to get up a couple of hours even earlier than I'm having to now on Saturday mornings AND go to work afterward. But dammit, it sounds exciting and as long as my pockets can't keep money in them, I might as well us the money for something fun and different. (Ah, living in the now. A blessing and a curse)

I'm actually kind of terrified of what might be required of me in terms of putting myself "out there", with strangers, but I'm also exhilarated by the thought too. I go on and on about how comfortable I've become with my size but I sure don't act like it sometimes.

So we'll see...the fabulous made a good suggestion that I could maybe even confirm with the teacher ahead of time that I may duck out a few minutes early to make sure that I make it to work on time. No flexing for me on Saturdays. But that's not the worse thing in the world as I was reminded today as it was the first time I hadn't flexed in a couple of weeks...

Lots of people manage to juggle more than one significant thing at a time don't they? the fabulous is a good example of that...and have I mentioned just HOW fabulous fabulous is? Her life has changed significantly recently and she keeps going. I'm learning a lot about self-confidence and bravery from her.

Ahhh, my heart is so full of love for the people in my life. I'm so freakin' lucky.

****

Next week ought to be fun...on Wednesday I'm flying my parent's down to FL (they get higher boarding priority with me traveling with them and after the disaster of last years outbound flight down there, I'm gonna try to make this year better) then turning around and flying back that afternoon. Then the following week I'll go down and "get them" and fly 'em back. They rarely take advantage of their flight benefits and have done a lot for me, so this the least I can do...

*********

Yesterday it was also 3 weeks since my baby left me. Man, I miss him. Jenn says she's done with the portrait and I should be receiving it tomorrow, Saturday or thereabouts. I'm sure I'm gonna cry again. And that's OK.

Well...so I think this is about all for now.

Onward. With heart-shaped bubble over my head and a small bounce in my step.

Another zinger

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A friend of mine has woven her life together with a Leo who doesn't fully appreciate the ways she expresses her adoration. She asked me to use my bully pulpit as a horoscope writer to convey a message to her lover, and I agreed, because I think it's excellent advice for all of the Leo tribe this Valentine season. Here's what she said: "Just because somebody doesn't always love you the way you wish they would, doesn't mean they don't love you the best they can and with all they have." Are you willing to consider the possibility that maybe you should take that plea to heart, Leo? I hope so, because then you'll be able to get some of the good loving you've closed yourself off from.

Whew, that was close!

I just realized that I used my real name in my previous post...it now has been changed to "Sam" but I wonder if that was even necessary. Haven't I already let that cat out of the bag by having this page posted at FB? Then again, the only people who can even get to see this address at FB have to be my friend...

Why the Nom de plume anyway still after all of this time? I don't know but I still like it.

Anyway, why am I here? Oh yeah. The latest horoscope from Seattle Weekly. Sign Language. Pertinent and applicable to yours truly (if only to serve as a reminder...)

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Every Leo has some Veruca Salt moments ("I want it NOW!"). However, as you mature, those episodes should become less frequent and intense. Learning to wait and do without are important lessons for every high-maintenance Leo, along with learning to maintain yourself and not rely on others to make your life what you want it to be. Generally, you've been heading in the right direction. However, occasionally you're still subject to regressive emotional episodes. This week could feature some of those, so be on your guard—the moment you start sounding the least bit like an entitled princess, shut up and walk away until the impulse passes.

***&&&&%%%%

So...er...hmm.

More next time 'round.

Facebook "assignment":

go to urbandictionary.com, type in your first name, copy and paste this (action #1) as your status and the FIRST entry for your name under comments (action #2)

and for me, there was this:

a woman i know who is incredibly sexy and i love her so much. she is the most amazing person alive and if you dont think so you deserve to die. amazingly there are some people who actually dont like her. but thats just because they're jealous and they're all asses anyway so no one cares about them. [Sam] deserves everything in the world and id do anything for her. ill never leave her side and i'll always be her best friend.

me: dude i love [sam]

you: who doesnt?

me: stupid retarded fuckers thats who!

****

How fucking awesome is that???

And i just ordered that on a t-shirt. *sigh* ..I have tax refund money burning a hole in my pocket big time. Why on earth there isn't a little voice inside my head saying "save it!" I don't know. I'm just bound and determined to always spend every penny I've got.

And you know what? That's the way I've always been with money. As a kid, I never saved up my allowance for something special. When I finally started baby-sitting, that money was gone almost as soon as it was given to me. Then when I started officially working at 16, I was working in a department store with a healthy employee discount...I burned through that money so fast...my senior year of high school, I barely managed to hang on to enough cash to get my senior portrait done and at the "end", get a yearbook (my one and ONLY yearbook out of all of those years of school) ...

Is it too late to teach an old dog new money tricks? Probably not.

While I'm crazy with the money, in reality, I don't necessarily have a lot of "stuff" and I'm not materialistic. I live a fairly simple life. (I've got so little in the way of possessions that it only took me a couple of hours to get moved in here.)

Last year when I had tax refund money burning a hole in the pocket, I went ahead and bought stuff for other people for a change. Maybe I'll do that again and then I'll feel a little less guilty about spending it.

When I do think about saving money, it just doesn't get me excited like spending does. There are practical reasons to save too, but I love living in the NOW and enjoying the ride. But then of course it bites me in the ass, when I need money for something I didn't know I'd need money for and I don't have it...perfect example of this was the stuff with Louis and the vet's office (if the fabulous hadn't been so freakin' fabulous I don't know what I would have done...oh wait, yes I do...gone to the bro...but for fucks sake, I'm almost 40. Isn't it about time I really took care of myself and my life 100%???? OK, we're not gonna go there tonight)

Then again, it's another thing that's not ALL or NOTHING ...I keep forgetting that. Balance, moderation, compromise...nothing wrong with any of that.

*Another sigh* It seems like its always been feast or famine with me throughout my life though. There have been years where I've been what my former therapist called "deprived" where I really was just surviving. Making just enough to get by. Things have been better for me financially the last few months (it's amazing what working all of your scheduled hours can do for the paycheck!) and it's been nice not to worry so much about watching every penny.

****

Ah well. It's my Friday so TGIF. First week of new schedule w/the earlier start time and the new days off. I've tried to be good and go to bed around 2am but I've not accomplished it yet. Probably just have to work my way around to it as I adjust.

**********

It still is hard to come home and come up here to my room. I find myself thinking about coming up here to say hi to my baby and relaxing a bit before I go downstairs (to eat a snack or hang out chatting with the fabulous and her boy) and then getting up here and he's not here.

And I could swear I hear him moving around and getting comfortable on his "box"...the one he also used as a step to get from the floor to the bed. It always made a little noise.

Did I mention another thing that I'm treating myself too is a commissioned mini-portrait of him? Oh, yeah, I did. I can't wait to see how she saw him from his photos.

I've got a picture of him on my phone as the wallpaper right now. I like seeing him every day, even if it's only as a picture on a phone.

>>>>><<<<<<<

Man, I'm really tired all of a sudden. Shall I just push through until I get my 2nd wind as usual? Or just give in for a change?

Eh. Onward. With drooping eyelids.