Just when I think I've got only bad luck

Along comes something to remind me that I'm very fortunate. Hit a baaaaaaaaaaad pothole last week and since then "Suzette" has been shakin' and makin' noise that is not normal. Eeek! Not quite flush enough to deal with a car repair bill right now, so my really great big brother to the rescue. He traded cars with me today (so I won't have to fear the back tire coming off in the middle of driving) and is going to take care of my little girl and then we'll trade cars back. How cool huh? Thank goodness for my family. None of us are rich but we do what we can to help each other out.

So work OK the last couple of days. Bearable. I really think the attitude adjustment I talked myself into last week is helping. Cool. So, while still just spinning my wheels, at least I'm doing it with a smile on my face.

Friday is Sunday in my world

Am watching some "Remington Steele" episodes in a quest to avoid dwelling on a recent stupid bad thing that happened (made my great day yesterday end on a sour note) and a blah day. Bad thing is something I won't go into details about (to protect the innocent.) Let's just say I don't do well with others secrets and lies. Not only is there having to keep track of what and but there is the immaturity of it all. I'm too old for this. I try to be a good friend but apparently I have failed yet again. So I'll just distract myself with some good old-fashioned murder-mystery-with-romantic-comedy-and-will-they-or-won't-they TV. I'm sucked into this show despite reading that Stephanie Zimbalist and Pierce Brosnan didn't get along off-screen. I guess that's what you call great acting when you can make people want to keep watching to see what happens between you and your co-star.

It occurs to me that maybe it's a sad commentary on our society that TV shows like this can just deal so casually with murder. Oh sure, the whole show is about catching the killer but the death itself is just so glossed over. There is no mourning. Actually I'm exaggerating aren't I? On shows such as "Bones", "The Closer", "Supernatural", (new must see) "Castle", "Law and Order SVU", "Eleventh Hour", even "Scrubs", etc. murder and/or death are dealt with -if not in "Six Feet Under" fashion -but by us getting to see those who are left behind to mourn.

Sheesh Sam. It's just TV!

So yeah, blah day...watching TV, doing some dishes, hanging out. Feeling off-kilter and alone. I think I just might even be a little bit glad there is work tomorrow and the next few days. I won't have to sit and stew in my own moody, emotional juices.

Oh how I wish I was an...

Oscar Meyer wiener...

Seriously, actually wish I had the motivation to be an author. I love to write and I love to read but lack the discipline to actually write a novel.

I get so impatient for the next in the series from favorite authors like Laurell K. Hamilton (Anita Blake and Merry Gentry), Jim Butcher (Harry Dresden), Nora Roberts and Kim Harrison (Rachel Morgan) when I shouldn't. You'd think with so many to keep up with I'd have enough distractions between books but nope. Just gimme, gimme, gimme the next one already! I NEED to know what happens next to the hero or heroine!

Great day today. Out for [my first time] lunch at "Falafel King" which was so-so (heard usually great so maybe we were just there on an "off" day?) w/fabulous S and met her honey who seems nice (when I can understand what he's saying (he's from somewhere Portugal/Spain/?'ish)) and now doing another lovely TB shift for the SPCO.

I discovered today that I don't dislike falafel. I thought I did. Tried it before and didn't care for it, but gave it another try today and it wasn't bad. (In fact, leftover lunch is dinner tonight...it'll probably be better 'cause it'll at least be hot unlike when we actually got served) Anyhoo...

I'm glad I decided to get a new attitude about FT job. Need to work shifts and be more responsible for myself. I swear I've got the best roommate in the world -EVER.

When it came time for me to move last summer, I was dreading it. I hate moving and am not a fan of semi-major changes (uh, who is?) but I just totally lucked out. It was the first ad on craigslist I responded to and the only place I went to see and it's been working like a charm. I'm less afraid of this kind of change now. Not that I'm going anywhere soon....

Now I just need to get over the fact that I'll be 40 not-this-summer-but-next and still live life like I'm 25 (houseless, childless, careerless, sort of directionless, etc. Uh, I guess it could be worse 'cause I could be homeless, an unwed mother and/or trapped in loveless marriage, jobless...) and just enjoy life. I'm also overdue for a trip of some kind. I've got that list of places I want to go to, now I just need to GO! R says he'll do the cruise thing with me. How cool is that? He's such a sweetie.

Well, enough blather from me. Gonna go back to reading "Dogs and Goddesses" by Jennifer Crusie/Anne Stuart/Lani Diane Rich.

What would happen if I didn't dislike my job?

I've been back at work the last couple of days and today was fun (and I'm not being sarcastic.) Had a couple of training/update/new info. meetings and was able to clarify questions I've had and hopefully the job will now be a bit easier (the time off of the phones doesn't hurt.) I think I make things harder for myself than they have to be but after today, hopefully that won't be the case anymore. While I miss having a job where I'm the "expert" and it's easy for me, I don't like being bored and this job is rarely boring -especially in these Delta/NWA merger integration days.

So I've been thinking that I need to get back to focusing on "work to live" vs. "live to work" - I finished "Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow" and one of the main points I'm going to focus on is doing my best while doing my current job. Why not make the best of a bad job and see what happens. Instead of being so negative and unhappy I'm gonna try just accepting it for what it is and focus on the thing I do in it that does make me happy, which is give great customer service.

That book was not what I expected but was helpful. Why not focus on being the best person I can, doing the best job that I'm capable of and seeing where that leads me.

I'm hopeful someday again I'll have a job that's more than this though. I was doing a bit of grieving the other night about the ticket office manager job that I lost a couple of years ago. I know, I know, it's been 2 1/2 years and I'm not over it yet. It was the hardest job I've ever had (well, it was the hardest job up until the current one.) It wasn't perfect and it took me away from actually helping people, but it was a job that made me feel ALIVE. A job that I jumped out of bed for -even at 5 in the morning. I loved knowing that I could make a difference and use the years of experience I had. Each day was exciting, challenging and it pushed me to learn things I didn't know. (Confession -I also got off on the position of "power". I was a big fish in small pond. This Leo LOVED that.) I was great at it, not perfect but pretty damn great.

My mother (who was working at the big O around this time) was talking to another woman we know after the whole experience happened and supposedly my being let go wasn't really because I lacked management experience like they said (well, I know it was a wee bit of it as I really hadn't had that much management experience. But a person can learn! They should be given a chance to learn and grow right? Uh, am I right?) They just wanted to hire who they originally wanted to hire. They settled for me until they could get her. They gave me the chance to soar and then popped the air balloon that was holding me up. I got caught up in stupid office politics (or some such nonsense.) Didn't they, don't they realize they crushed me and broke my heart when they let me go? (Uh-oh, here come the melodramatic police again) I think that might be why I'm also scared to get out there again. After this, I went back to my safe/easy job at SPCO and then along came NWA. A hard job, but very one-dimensional.

I know I need to find a job that makes me feel that way again -but with more people customer service elements and less administrative. A job that won't consume me the way this one did (though I didn't mind 12 hour days at this one) because then my life would be like it was when I worked so much I didn't have a life...(I'm starting to feel like job "Goldilocks" That one was too much and the current is too little.)

In the meantime I'll be thinking about what I will be working to live for. I guess I hope that by getting a better attitude I'll be a more positive person which can only be a good thing. Maybe I'll stop being such a 'fraidy cat (ha) and be willing to "put myself out there again" (hmm, this is like dating isn't it?) or finally make a fucking (oooh, dropping the f bomb -hope nobody is offended) decision about school. I admire my friends/co-workers who did/do/are doing the school thing while working full-time. (Though do I really need to do the school thing to get a better job when I don't even know what that job is?)

Do I need to get a life so I stop obsessing over this crap? Are you tired of me obsessing about it?

Dizzy Saturday Night

Now think I've got a little ear thing or something as this evening I've been getting dizzy. Just great. Back to work tomorrow. It's been quite a few days and I'm really not looking forward to it. Oh well.

So for fun this evening, I thought I'd go and re-watch one of my favorite TV moments. Which led me to thinking about others. Here are 3. Uh, if you haven't watched "ER", "Side Order of Life" or "Six Feet Under" and you're planning to, please just skip this post.

1. Scene from "ER" when "Carol" goes to "Doug" in Seattle. I had actually quit watching "ER" a couple of seasons before her character left (it was just too much drama if that makes any sense) but as I keep up via TV Guide on shows I watch and don't watch, I knew her character was leaving and it was just dumb luck that I happened to be flipping channels and caught the end of that episode and what do you know? It featured that hunk of yummy George Clooney and was a sweet memorable TV moment. I had been a fan of that coupling from the start so was happy to see them get their "happy ending"

2. The final episode of "Side Order of Life". Anyone else watch this little gem that was on Lifetime TV a couple of seasons ago? It was sweet (even though the lead was this pretty, skinny blond who I wanted to dislike because she was pretty, skinny and blond -you know, the complete opposite of me) ...anyway, through a comedy of errors (or whatever they call that when they throw you off course repeatedly) "Jenny" and "Cell Phone Guy" finally get together. Awww. I was bummed that show didn't get a 2nd season, but at least they got to give it a final, proper ending.

3. The final scene of "Six Feet Under" when "Claire" is driving off to her future and Sia's song "Breathe Me" is playing in the background and we watch how the main characters all meet their demise...I actually was bawling as I watched that. I don't think I've ever bawled at a TV show before. Cried yes, but not wracking-the-body-sobbing-like-someone-just-died (no pun intended)-heart-broken-in-a-thousand-pieces-red-faced-snot-flowing bawling. I don't think I'll ever be as affected by the end of show as I was that one.

I never do well with movies and TV shows where people die at the end (recently I've even taken a vow to never watch another Nicholas Sparks movie. I haven't seen them all, but the 2 I have? Ha! Never ever again!)

TV Guide magazine has an article about what they think the 5 best and 5 worst series finales are and the "Six Feet Under" one made the best list but only at #5. Are they nuts? It's #1 on my list. (I'm too lazy to say what the rest of their choices are...you'll just have to pick up the issue which features "ER" folks on the cover. I of course picked up the one w/George Clooney)

There are so many more but these are the ones that I'm thinking about tonight.

Do What You Love...

The Money Will Follow. Am finally reading it and it's ringing some bells ...I think I read it years ago but the re-reading of it is not a bad thing. It's message has a lot to do with self-esteem and self-confidence because by having both of those things you have the courage to make the choices that are the best for you (and you alone) in pursuing work you love.

I really like this particular bit:

An except from David Viscott M.D.'s book "The Language of Feelings"

Your ultimate goal in life is to become your best self. Your immediate goal is to get on the path that will lead you there. ...You are here to develop and grow, to do your share to make the outside world a better place to live, to make the immediate world in which you live, the world that is you as honest and as true to your feelings as you possibly can.

Huh. As mentioned before I'm the only one getting in my own way ..and this book addresses that.

It talks about discipline and how it's a powerful tool for getting what you really want out of life (duh!) and those who are unsuccessful or unfulfilled (uh, me, the unfulfilled) have habit patterns that help avoid challenges, demands and the use of talents. (Actually I don't fully agree with the talent thing -I definitely use that at work) preferring comfort, safety and invisibility and I soooooo agree with that.

Because what is my life these days? A job that I dislike so much that I take unpaid time off just not to be at but then waste those days off by not doing anything productive aka find a new job. I'm not doing anything to make my life better because it is scary. I have been though enough drama and change in my lifetime...but there has got to be a better alternative than my current reality.

So what does all of this have to do with making money from what you love? Well, I'm not finished with the book yet but I'll let you know.

OMG

I watched a couple of episodes of an oldie, but goodie today "The Love Boat"! I loved this show as a kid but have only seen a handful of episodes. (It's also made me have a lifelong desire to want to take a cruise...*sigh* maybe someday) Other oldies but goodies I may try to find and watch include "Laverne and Shirley", "Taxi", "Simon and Simon", "Charlie's Angels" and maybe I'll watch some "Fantasy Island"

For a romantic like me, "The Love Boat" is the ultimate in getting a happy ending. I had such a crush on "Gopher" and wanted to be a cruise director like "Julie". A few years ago I even did a little bit of research about working on a cruise ship. Can't remember now why I didn't pursue it. Maybe I should look into it again?

It occurs to me this might be another source (well, in general, shows like this) that may have had an affect on my view of love and relationships (along with all those romance novels I read)

Aww, an episode with a very young and cute Scott Baio and Kristy McNichol. There's a childhood crush, Scott Baio (though my favorite was Shaun Cassidy.) My favorite episodes of "Happy Days" were the episodes that had to do with "Joanie and "Chachi" (Ha, I bet there are those video clip thingies about them at youtube!) Oh young love. Brings back memories. When I was 8 we moved to England and at the place my mom worked was this boy named Graham who was the son of one of the cooks. He was my first boyfriend. And he was my first "bad" boy because once we were hanging out outside and he had to take a piss and did it outdoors. How scandalous! (There were other things he did that made me think of him as a bad boy but I can't remember them right now) Then later, also in England, my parents used to get together with this couple (another blank in my memory) and go the pubs, leaving my brother and I with their kids, Toby and ?...Claudia? (My brother was about 12/13 and his sister was around the same age so they felt OK about leaving us kids alone) Anyway, one night we were goofing around -the boys in my brother's room and us girls in mine and Toby and I were writing notes to each other. One of his notes told me to count to 30 and come to the garden and tell him if I would marry him. So of course, I did and he pretended to be the minister as well as the groom and we got married. Is it sad that I'm almost 40 and that's the only proposal I've ever gotten? Anyway, we divorced -the next time we were together? -because he was talking about a girl at his school who was more developed than I (Oh, if only he could see me now!) and I thought that was mean and felt betrayed. So boom, married and divorced before the age of 10. Crazy.

Speaking of waiting

Ugh, I'm gonna be happy when this cold is gone. I did too much yesterday starting with going outside on errands with wet hair, then smoking a fag while waiting in frustration for B to show up (he finally did, around 10!) then doing 2 loads of laundry. Woke up today with stuffed nose and sore throat. I'll mostly blame the cigarette. Bad Sam. Had to ask for a rain check from 2 different dear friends -was supposed to do lunch with S today and then karaoke with R tonight.

Ah, waiting. Waiting for a body to be 100% healthy. Waiting for the latest book in a series to be released e.g. next Anita Blake book by Laurell K. Hamilton. Waiting for a new episode of a favorite show e.g. "Bones". Waiting for new seasons of "My Boys" and "Leverage" to begin. Waiting for the remake of the series "Cupid" to begin (the original was great. Should be interesting to see if remake is any good.) Waiting to see if "Lipstick Jungle" is renewed (I'm torn about that show...love all of the actors and it slightly fills the void left by "Sex and the City") Waiting to find out if we're going to still be represented by a union at work. Waiting for the next time I'll see B (we had a nice talk about this not-seeing-each-other-for-a-month business. Should not happen again.)

Oh, I never did finish my commentary on "Bones" did I? Well, actually not much else to say though I do recommend you watch it if you haven't been. The chemistry between the characters -all of them -is great and the story lines and crimes are interesting. From what I've read "Bones" and "Booth" will be hooking up by the end of the season and eventually "Angela" and "Hodgins" will get back together. So now it's just a wait and see kind of thing.

And also about "Bones"? Take a look at Yummy 2 ! Another very very good reason to watch.

New episode tonight. Yeah! Also new episodes of "Supernatural" (the current yummy man is a recurring character on it) and "Hell's Kitchen" (I have a crush on Gordon Ramsay)

Musings while waiting for the night to begin

So I'm killing some time while waiting for my date tonight w/B. It's been a month, a whole 'freakin month since we last saw each other. That is unacceptable and we are going to have a little chat about that. I'm feeling a lot better. Am back to breathing through my nose and am only coughing a wee bit (mostly when I laugh hard) ...this has been the least annoying cold I've had in years. Thank goodness.

So laying in bed this morning, hearing a song by my favorite artist, Jonatha Brooke and some of the lyrics were really talking to me "...you live your life like it's over..." oh that seems so true for me right now. I'm not going out and living ..well, like I used to. I recently told my roommate that when I was in my 20's I worked 3 jobs and was out all the time. My 30's have been about staying in but maybe I've gone too far to the extreme.

I just finished "White Witch, Black Curse" by Kim Harrison (4 out of 5 stars) and am thinking about how most of my favorite authors who write about women are writing about women who are out, about and kicking ass. They're not spending their days off from work, moping about the house, watching TV or reading. (Of course they're not because who wants to read about someone doing that?) Oh man, this is such a broken record for me. I've been saying for years how I know I need to get out and do more stuff. Take classes, get together with friends more often, etc. but do I? Nope. Why not?? I just don't know. The only thing getting in the way of my having a more active, interesting life is myself. Why don't I get out of my damn way?

And I have the nerve to get mad at B when he says he should be getting up earlier himself and then he could get a lot more done in his life (as if he needs to be doing more between working in his family's business 7 days a week, being a property owner/landlord, his family obligations, the kid and making time for moi ...I know, I know, I should give the guy a break and not bust his chops about not seeing me for a month) ...actually I know why I get mad at him for saying that...because he's already too freakin' busy! He does plenty for everyone else.

Anyhoo. I just need to do what I've advised a few others to do...just take a baby step. Spring is here (well, a hell of a lot closer than it's been)...the sun shines longer and the weather is warmer. So maybe I'll finally get some motivation to do stuff and get unstuck. We'll see.

Digital TV is crap

Not only do I have to remember to turn the converter box to the channel I want to record a show from, on the day I want to record something, but the reception is crap. It's Tuesday afternoon and I'm home, coughing and sniffling my way through a spring cold. I'm between naps right now and trying to enjoy "The Big Bang Theory" and all my other Monday night favorites but guess what? I keep seeing the picture disappear and a "no signal" message pop up. (Oh, how I miss cable sometimes. Well, not missing the huge bill or the times I didn't watch anything because there were too many choices (what a happy problem to have though)...actually, this same thing is happening with online TV watching...) A few weeks ago I missed all of the dialogue from the opening scene as there was no sound to go with the picture.

Oh boo hoo Sam. There are many terrible things in this world and this is just a minor inconvenience -easily remedied by heading over to surfthechannel.com.

Is it just me or is "How I Met Your Mother" better/funnier this season than it's ever been? This is the episode about the nightshirts, "Lily" sabotaging "Ted's" relationships and what this? Near the end were they actually making us think that "Ted" and "Robin" aren't quite over? Hmm, I'm not sure what to think about that since I'm loving the whole "Barney" loving "Robin" storyline (I'm a sucker for unrequited love story lines. One of my all time favorites is the whole "Niles" and "Daphne" one on "Frasier". Oh, there we go! A show that survived once characters got together)

When actors have colds or are sick on TV -are they really sick? I mean, what's a working actor supposed to do when they get sick? And if they're not really sick? That's acting! This comment because of "Chelsea's" cold on "Two and a Half Men" ...and what do you know, the signal was lost and I didn't even get the whole episode. Arghhhh!

Maybe I should just give up on taping shows and just watch everything online now. My old faithful TV will just become another dust collector in my room. You know, I've had my TV for about 20 years. I bought it the first time I moved out of my parent's house, when I was 18. And it still works just fine. It's not a fancy HD or big screen or flat screen TV but it's always gotten the job done.

OK, enough for now. Nap time again.

Feelin' Groovy

As a result of last night's cold/cough nightime liquid medicine. It's hours later and I feel like I'm definitely on something. I called in sick to work today. Hated to (yeah, I know since I'm not so fond of my job most of the time) but wasn't going to risk driving like this plus I just feel like crap. I only got on the computer to see if my request for days off cleared. They haven't so now I'm reaching out to co-workers for help. I won't bore you with any more details about the crazy rules we're subject to at work regarding attendance, etc. It's not like anywhere else I've worked.

I'm so mad about getting another cold. I ran out of the multivitamins and vitamin C I was taking a week ago and thought I could get by without getting more since spring seems to be approaching. WRONG WRONG WRONG! Crud. Also staying up later than usual to finish catching up on "Bones" was not the smartest thing I've ever done. Speaking of that, I'm caught up now. I did it! But I'm so not going to get into any commentary/questions about it right now. I just want to go back to sleep.

To be pondered at a later time...maybe. Why do some books made in to a TV series work for me and others don't? I read all of "The Dresden Files" before I saw all of the episodes and didn't have a problem with the translation for TV. "Dexter" also works. I guess the one that I don't think will (have done too much reading about the differences between them) is "True Blood" based on the Sookie Stackhouse southern vampire mystery series by Charlaine Harris. I've read all the books and now they have a series but I just don't think I'll watch it.

Anyhoo. Back to bed now.

Cuts, cuts, cuts

So it's Friday the 13th and I'm here doing a turnback shift at the SPCO, slightly bored. Hmm, maybe since there are speakers attached to the computer I'm working on I could watch the first episode of the 4th/current season of "Bones". (Yup, finished season 3 in the wee small hours of this morning.) OK, the computers here are not gonna work to watch TV shows. Oh well. I'm sure I'll find other ways to kill time between phone calls.

That might be better than thinking about how impulsive it was last night to cut my hair (again), and trim my fingernails down to nothing (once one tears or breaks I have to make them all the same length) or think about the cuts they made in staffing here at the SPCO...7 jobs. Ouch. But they're being pro-active not re-active.

In my quest to get caught up with "Bones" I've been ignoring my usual faves including "The Big Bang Theory", "Terminator..." and "Dollhouse", . Maybe I'll do some catching up tomorrow (have the day off which is a good thing as I think I might be getting a cold/cough.) Then again there is one bit of business I need to take care of. I need to get and replace the windshield wiper blades on Suzette (yes, my car has a name) and I will be doing this all by myself for the very first time. Hopefully it's as easy as they make it look online. Ah, the little joys of car ownership.

You know what? I really have nothing else to talk about right now so I'm going to save this for now and add to it later when I feel the urge to share exciting things or be witty or something.

Non-"Bones" commentary

From Seattle Weekly, Sign Language by Caeriel Crestin.

This one speaks to me.

-----

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

I'm ready for spring, so I'm blasting the heat and dancing around in my underwear. It's my own version of weather therapy. You should try it. Some things in your life are as outside your immediate control as the climate. However, instead of feeling bitter that you can't have what you want (at least not yet), create for yourself the next best thing. It should be more than enough to tide you over. Being barely content is OK, especially if it's just temporary. Bitterness never suits a Leo, though, so do what you have to to make sure you never suffer it.

-----

So some small news. My friend R was kind enough to pass on my resume for a part-time job with his company. A position still helping people but hopefully not as stressful as current job. I had a mini pre-interview over the phone with the manager of the department and it was good. Sadly, it's not going to work out now because they want someone for an 8am start time and that just won't work for me. Much as I might wish I was a morning person sometimes, I know myself and that kind of shift just doesn't work for me in the long run. She's going to hang on to my resume and we'll see what happens down the road, if anything.

Putting my toe into the-look-for-a-new-job pool was kind of scary but not as painful as I thought it would be. I hear about the high unemployment rates and think about the work it takes to find a job and it makes me say to myself maybe I'll just keep sticking it out. But this was a nice experience and so I think I will continue to dip my toe in the water.

I want to keep my current job but go to PT. However, PT is evening shifts only. So I'll look for other PT work that would have hours more compatible with current job.

I'm not prepared to kiss my travel benefit good-bye. Before I worked for an airline, I loved to travel and took several trips. But it was always a struggle to be able to afford it. I have now gotten a taste of free travel and I like it, I like it A LOT. Would having a better paying job that would fund my travel bug be better? I'm not so sure. Something to think about some more I guess.

I hope you don't mind

This is going to be further commentary on "Bones". Hang in there if you're not a fan or interested. I promise I'll delve into much more interesting matters as I continue along this blog journey.

Anyhoo (god, I love that word!) (P.S. it's great to have things to "get off on" isn't it?)

1. In the middle of season 2 and this is where things stand right now. "Bones" (she has tolerated being called that for ages now) is in a relationship with "Sully" and "Booth" ended his relationship with "Cam" quite a while ago.
2. Episode about copycats of crimes in books and the moment is revealed that "Bones" has sexual thoughts/feelings for "Booth" -well, that's my interpretation of "Bones" writing about her heroine and the FBI agent having sex in her 2nd (3rd?) book.
3. I am starting to see why "Bones" and "Booth" are headed toward a romantic relationship and I will try to explain, if I can. There have been moments where we think they might kiss. It's hard to watch them be with others. Bravo to tv writers who write these "heading toward love" relationships. I think the struggle to avoid giving in to the romance fans could be hard.

What are the shows that didn't "die" when THEY got together? There have got to be shows that thrived/flourished or survived just fine when it happened? There have GOT to be some shows!

(FYI - did you know that at youtube they have videos by people who are so fixated on these relationships that they create clip and song videos? It's fascinating! What does that say about me that I've watched "Booth/Brennan aka Bones", "Remington Steele/Laura Holt" "Tony/Angela" and "Scarecrow/Mrs King" clip vidoes?)

4. Who, in their twisted mind, comes up with the crimes? The one about the bones being entirely removed is the grossest yet. Why are we so fascinated by murder? Are we going to become numb to it?
5. Favorite scene: "Hodgins" and "Bones" are buried alive and he proclaims out loud his love for "Angela" -only she isn't there to hear it.
6. So they make us think that it's possible to be with someone while you're really in love with someone else. I think that you can love someone and then can love someone else later and on and on. Maybe it's just that there is BIG love and NOT Big love. ???
7. So their love will happen because they work together? I do see that he gets how important her work is to her and "Sully" is all about the personal side of her.
8. Will be interested to see why her relationship with "Sully" ends.
9. Oh that's why. He wants to take her away from work -which is part of her. It's not just what she does. No let me rephrase that. They want different things out of/for their lives (Hmm, "Joey" chooses the boat ride with "Pacey" but "Brennan" doesn't)
10. Ooh, the guy from "The Closer".
11. I am tempted to skip ahead episode-wise.

How important is it to want the same things out of life that your partner does?

12. Will they make her reassess work being her life? It has to be OK to just be who you are.

It's reading online TV columnists that got me curious about watching this show. When mention was made about a potential relationship between the leads, it made curious. I also have some mild interest in watching "Grey's Anatomy" for that reason alone. Hints about their relationship being like "Big" and "Carrie" aka on/off are very intriguing for me as I of course think my relationship with B is like that.

13. I will suffer through the fact that I think it a bit strange that they are partners. I mean, I get that they each solve murders in their job descriptions but why make them partners? Cops/agents are usually only partnered with other cops/agents.

14. While I like that "Hodgins" declared his love for "Angela" I'm not sure that I understand them together.
15. OK, I like them together.
16. How cool is it that they've got a member of ZZ Top playing "Angela's" father?

Why am I awake before 11am?

Mother nature called a little bit before 9am and since then I've spent the last hour and half trying to go back to sleep with no luck. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Actually the first half hour centered around "when is B going to call/is he going to come over this morning" (he's not) which led to other thoughts such as did he participate in any "activities" while on vacation and I hope he didn't and if he did what can he do or say (if he can) to help me deal with that.

Then a letter was written -the kind you don't send -wishing for courage on his part and then all of that led to thoughts about how can I take back control of my life (what's that saying about glass houses and stones?)

I would love to try to go back to sleep for at least another hour or so since I don't have to work until 2pm (and of course was up 'til the wee hours) but afraid I'll be more groggy and out of it if I do. I should just get up, make coffee and have a proper breakfast. Then I'll have time for a nice long shower and can just stroll on to work without feeling rushed.

Work. Nasty four-letter word that one. It's "Friday" for me, so that's something to look forward to.

Did anyone else forget to...

Set the clocks ahead 1 one hour last night and be late to work? Please don't tell me it was only me. I was so mad at myself because I normally set them before 2am! I was a cranky girl at work for the first few hours. Had a chocolate chip muffin and then all was OK with the world (aka, it wasn't the end of it.)

Just got done eating more junk food (Wendy's) and am watching some more episodes of "Bones". I love how he is so willing to do stuff for her, at risk to himself. And the episode where they were dancing to Foreigner's "Hot-Blooded" was hilarious.

It's late but I'm too wired to go to bed. Work again tomorrow.

Back to notes on "Bones":

1. It has given me some laugh out loud moments.
2. Why I'm digging this show and have no interest in "CSI" (I watched the first season when it first started airing but never went back for more) is curious. Both have to do with forensics & crime (and I was a huge fan of "Crossing Jordan) Hmm, I will have to think about this.
3. I like how "Brennan" stands up for herself and the truth.
4. Another bonus to watching online...no or few ads.
5. So it's almost the end of the first season and there has been no sign or word of "Booth's" girlfriend "Tess" since the first couple of episodes in. Will they ever explain her disappearance - do they officially break up or are we supposed to believe that she never existed? (Hmm, google this?)
6. "Booth" is a moody one isn't he? Or is that just passion?
7. Ooh, the guy from "Leverage"! I like when I recognize actors from other shows. Is that weird?
8. Ooh, I think they just had their first minor fight.
9. I like how they move the action along. More noticeable when you watch episode after episode after episode (and thank goodness for that when you watch episode after episode after episode!)

So it'll be interesting to see how their relationship develops into a romantic one -if at all. I do find relationships, love relationships especially, fascinating. I read a lot of romances as a teen and I'm sure that has made me have high expectations for them. Then again, it's not wrong to want to believe that you could fall in love with someone and only want to be with them.

Anyway, I'm up to the 2nd episode of the 2nd season and whoa, do they have a lot of ground to cover. I understand "Angela" and "Hodgins" have a relationship at some point during the series and they've only just started hinting at that.

B has been gone but now he's back. I'm so happy! I've missed him something fierce though think I did a pretty good job of keeping busy. How can you not miss (and love) a guy who totally gets you and lets you be yourself?

I wonder how much longer it'll take me to get caught up to current episodes (because of course I will keep going until I've seen them all!) It'll help that I returned most of the library books without 'gasp' reading them. I never do that but it was just too much pressure. I'll check 'em out again someday.

Ugh, work in 10 hours. I suppose I ought to think about crashing soon. I do try to get about 8 hours sleep. That is always my goal, even if it's sleep that starts around 4am.

g'night.

Mish mash

So I have discovered a series than I'm "sinking my teeth into" - "Bones" (hardy har har). Of course I'm mostly watching to see how the romantic relationship develops between "Booth" and "Brennan".

Other than that, not much else to report right now. I'll be working the next few days so may not have much to say ...or maybe I'll come home and just have to rant and rave about work. We'll see.

Some Nip/Tuck fans saw that coming (if you haven't seen the season 5 season finale & hate it when someone spoils the ending of things, skip ahead)

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Of course it was a lab mix-up and Christian is not dying. Well, that's a relief. Ah, the roller coaster ride TV dramas can take one on. This was the season finale and now we'll have to wait how long? before the new season starts. Onward as Jen would say. There are plenty of shows in the sea.

It's a beautiful day and I'm hanging out at home. Now that I'm caught up on current TV (if Fringe, Scrubs, Law & Order: SVU had been new episodes last night, this would be a different post) I'll get my lazy behind in gear and do some cleaning in my room and then maybe, just maybe, I'll look at jobs. Or maybe I'll call my parent's and see how they enjoyed their trip. Or maybe I'll call my brother and see how he's doing. He's had a rough go of it the past few weeks since getting laid-off from his job.

( A couple of hours later)

OK, so I haven't done a lick of work or called anyone (bad girl : { ) and have now decided to watch the very first episode of "Highlander" (the series.) Imagine the sheer joy I felt when I discovered you could watch TV online. For a TV lover such as myself, it's pure heaven. oh sure there are DVD's, DVRs/Ti-VO and cable, but when you have none of those things (and why don't I? Don't I claim to be a serious fan? Well...?) Shows come and go but thanks to cyber-space they are available and will live on for years to come. There have been quite a few show s I've been curious about over the years and until recently a lot of them were on my list for Netflix but now, thanks to the internet, ha! No more waiting for that little red envelope (though truly, the only negative thing one can say about Netflix right?)

So here goes.

(10 minutes later)

First question...will Richard Moll ever be any other character than "Bull" from "Night Court" for me? It's hard to watch him be this "Slan" character. He really wanted to play the opposite didn't he?

Does one need to watch the movies before watching the series?

Hmm, is thinking that you could be doing better things with your time a sign the show is not that great? Or is it one of those so bad it's good shows?

Oh sure, I'm a big fan of series that have romance elements to them but I just don't know. Maybe this will be another show like "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" and "Remington Steele" that seems like it'd be fun to watch but will unltimately become a show I mostly know about via google, wikipedia, etc.

Adrian Paul sure is sexy though, even with the ponytail. Yes, I said it.

It's finally over. What's the verdict? Will I watch another episode? Nah. I think the sword-fighting will get old for me fast. Is that a good enough reason to not watch again? Why not.

P.S. I am digging this blog thing.

Coincidence or just paying attention

Deja Vue : Déjà vu (pronounced /ˈdeɪʒɑː ˈvuː/ (help·info); French /deʒa vy/ (help·info) "already seen"; also called paramnesia, from Greek παρα "para," "near" + μνήμη "mnēmē," "memory") or promnesia, is the experience of feeling sure that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously (an individual feels as though an event has already happened or has happened in the near past), although the exact circumstances of the previous encounter are uncertain. (this courtesy of Wikipedia)

So I was just thinking about how much fun my last "weekend" was & recalled a moment of Déjà vu that I felt when I was getting ready for a party. So I thought to myself hmm, why not google it and see what kind of results I get. (I love to google and will often spend time just thinking of random thoughts, words, expressions, ideas, objects or people to serach for on google. Though you know what? If someone can recommend a different/better search engine, please tell me about it!)

After skimming through the various results besides the one for Wikipedia, I move on to checking email. One of my emails is the weekly horoscope by Rob Breszny. He's the guy who does them for City Pages here in the Twin Cities. Freewillastrology is one my favorites (Sign Language by Caeriel Crestin in Seattle Weekly is also great) I head down to read both the Cancer and Leo (I'm on the cusp and think both apply) and when I get to Cancer...well, do do do do (imagine that's the twilight zone theme) and check this out!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Scientists and fundamentalist Christians don't share much common ground, but one thing most of them agree on devoutly: There's no such thing as reincarnation. Now I'm pleased to be able to offer you the chance to rebel against their dogmatic delusion. You see, Cancerian, it's an excellent time to try out the hypothesis that you have lived many times before and will live many times again. For one week, act as if it were true, and see how it changes the way you feel, think, and act. What if everything you do has repercussions forever?

There were some scientific explanations about deja vu and while they make some sense (or do they?) I prefer to think "there are more things on in heaven and earth..." and that just maybe one does get a 2nd chance to make that first impression. (And let's not kill 2 birds with one stone or count our chickens before they're hatched or waste not, want not, while we trip along the light fantastic)

This staying up this late has really got to stop. But I'm not really that tired right now. Or am I?

Maybe I'll write about something interesting tomorrow (uh, later today) and cut down on the blathering I've been doing the past couple of days.

G'night.

Things I'll wonder about as I fall asleep

Why cat runs away when I put hand lotion on. Why I had a dream (NIGHTMARE) about giving birth to triplets this morning. Will I ever be in love with anyone other than B. Why do I put off going to the bathroom. Is work going to be as annoying today as it was yesterday. Will I have the energy to watch my favorite Monday night shows after I get home from work or should I just save them for a day off. Will I ever be able to become a non-night owl. What else should I add to this blog to make it more interesting. How am I going to survive this next week while B. is out of town. Who shot JFK. Who shot J.R (Oh wait, know this one. It was whats-er-name) What am I going to wear to work. What happened on the 2nd to last new episode of "The L Word". What will happen on the last new episode of "The L Word". Will I remember to buy more cat food. When will I get around to reading these books before they're due back at the library. Will the money really follow doing what I love. Will winter ever end.

Gee, it's only past midnight and I just might crash

So remember how I mentioned in the previous entry about being tempted to just go over to my parent's house and take them to the airport. Well, silly me. I called and Pop said, yeah, come over because your brother has to work. So I thrown on my favorite flannel pj's over my sleep-shirt and off I go. 4am, on the road, in the freezing cold. So I get there and it turns out that my bro. is not working and ends up taking them to the airport after all. So I head back home and finally get to bed around 6am. Sheesh! Oh, well.

Good news ...they got on their morning flight and so now they are in the lovely state of FL. Airline damaged her scooter though, but not so badly that it doesn't work...and they will fix it. That's something. Anyway, I'm just so glad they got on a flight. I hope they have a really good time.

Today was a lovely day. Last night and today both were just great. Spent time with friends that I hadn't seen or talked to in a while and it was good to be around people. Even went to a party tonight where the DJ was doin' a kick-ass job of entertaining everyone. He's actually a dear friend of mine. So between C last night, T today and R tonight, it's been a full couple of days for this hermit. Work tomorrow, ugh.

Nighty, night. Sweet dreams.