What Next?

I've been spending a lot of time and money lately on getting my house in order...literally.

Today was a good day. Highlights include getting the new bed delivered. And John, the handyman, putting up a towel rack in the bathroom and putting up a paper towel holder.

Swasome. (New word...combination of sweet and awesome.)

Staying Positive.

I've got tendonitis in my wrist and typing hurts like a m*fucker.

But I have to realize that the key to survival sometimes (most of the time?) is staying positive.

Life really is good right now.

Money makes life good right now.

Between my paychecks (when working all of my hours and/or having paid time off, I LOVE them), my federal refund and profit sharing, I've been going a little crazy.

I told you about buying a new bed and hopefully it's being delivered tomorrow...we're getting like another fucking foot of snow tonight. Bloody hell.

Poor B. That man works so hard, juggles a million balls and still makes time for me. And this particular winter has been brutal.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah, life is good.

I'm sure I should be doing the grown up thing and saving most of this money and/or paying off the rest of the little debt I have (student loan from my Horst (now known as Aveda Institute) days is the worst of it) but I'm getting a lot of pleasure out of making my home more...homey.

I guess it always comes back to my "nest" and making it as nice and comfortable as I can since I spend so much time there.

So I might be going a wee bit crazy. But I don't think on frivolous stuff. It's functional stuff. Hooks and hangers and hampers. That kind of thing. Oh OK and maybe a new set of plates and bowls. While I'm grateful that Judy gave me the dishes when she did, they are ...ugly.

So I think I will just embrace the madness and then get to learning what it's like to save money next.  I know it's up to me and I can do it. I can be successful.

...Speaking of ...well, not necessarily success but just something awesome...

I get to travel for company business next week and I am psyched. I didn't know how much I wanted to until it happened!

There's going to be this workshop in Atlanta next Thursday that will have participants from both group offices, management, Revenue Management, etc. and we'll be talking about how to work ...better all together.

This is a good opportunity for me to check my attitude about the other office. Granted, they have a lot of idiots down there but there are a few good folks and it's time we threw positivity at the issue of "North" vs "South" for a change.

I'm excited and I hope good things come out of it in terms of things that happen in reality and not just theory.

I almost wonder if I shouldn't read through all of those documents on my desk on the various policies and procedures and start thinking of ideas and/or questions...Hmm.

Well anyway.

Yeah, life is good. 

Love...2014

What a great day it's been so far. I got to spend some quality time with my love this morning and then this afternoon, I went and showed myself some love by investing in my comfort...I bought a new bed.

But back to this morning.

I'm so lucky I've got someone in my life who loves me just as I am. Someone who lets me be me ...even as I'm still finding out who I am. I've got someone who has endless amounts of patience while I figure it all out.

And what's awesome also is that not only am I shown the love on this holiday but I'm shown the love all the time, in various ways, some small, some not so small.

I was reminded tonight that one of the many good things about our relationship is that when we're not together, we still like each other. We care and it shows in our conversations.

And I really know I'm loved. (Let's not get into why I sometimes find that hard to believe right now.)

And I've got so much other love in my life with my family and friends.

I was telling K recently that my life is good...really good and I wasn't wrong. (I'm going be dog and house sitting again for her this summer...Yippee!)

I've still got work to do, physically and financially but I'm feeling optimistic and know if I can just keep putting one foot in front of the other that I can keep making my life better and clear the way for more good things to come in to it.

And then, there was bed shopping.

Pop took me and insisted on The Original Mattress Factory. And while at first I thought it might be a mistake to just go only place, it turned out to be a good decision. I was Goldilocks and I found one that seems just right. 

I hate that I have to wait a week for it. BUT ...this way I have time to prepare...I'm going to have to move a dresser out. And wash the new sheets.  And clear out the nightstand. And hang up the pictures.

And how fucking lucky am I that I work where I work and we have this little thing called "profit sharing."

Yup. My life is good. And I've got good people in it. And I've got love.

And let me end with a little song dedication to my love, B.

Sweet wonderful you,
You make me happy with the things you do,
Oh, can it be so,
This feeling follows me wherever I go.

I never did believe in miracles,
But I've a feeling it's time to try.
I never did believe in the ways of magic,
But I'm beginning to wonder why.

Don't, don't break the spell,
It would be different and you know it will,
You, you make loving fun,
And I don't have to tell you that you're the only one.

Oooh . . . you make loving fun. (It's all I wanna do.)
Oooh . . . you make loving fun. (It's all I wanna do.)
Oooh . . . you make loving fun. (It's all I wanna do.)

Because this is NOT as good as it gets.

It's better and it keeps getting better.

I think I just came across the next book I need to read as I evolve into this...new (maybe just improved?) person I'm trying to become with the exercise and eating...better.

Lose The Diet: Transform Your Body By Connecting With Your Soul.  

by Kathy Balland (Author)

and this was one person had to say in their review that said things the way I didn't know I wanted them said on the whole matter of where I'm at...

"I have long believed that the weight battle is not fought on the scale, or in the kitchen or at the supermarket, but in our minds.

I've been overweight for 20 years and morbidly obese for 14 of those. Yet, surprisingly perhaps, I haven't been on many diets. See, I knew that diets don't work. Instead I've been trying for the last three years to change to a healthy lifestyle that will not only return me to a normal weight, but heal some health problems.

... for some reason or the other, I would always start sabotaging myself after a while. This used to drive me crazy! Why can't I allow myself to feel good and get healthy? I knew it had a lot to do with my upbringing, my poor self-esteem and my need to rebel at every turn."

OMG. "singing my words"...

So OK. I think I'll dive in.

These changes I'm making are changes that I must embrace every single day of my life, in one way or another. It doesn't mean I won't occassionally have a "bad" day (er, Thursday/Friday pizza - ate the whole thing & Saturday chips (ate the whole bag) and salsa.) but I'm having good days too. 

So another week is approaching and another week where I will just go to the fitness center everyday  (because it's just what I do) and I will put together fairly healthy foods to bring for lunch.

So OK, yeah, let's look at it from the emotional, mental side of things and see where that takes me next.