Obla dee, obla da.
It's been a week since my loss. I got a sympathy/condolence card from the vet's office today. Which was very kind of them. I managed not to bawl when I read it. And then this afternoon I had phone conversation with my brother (he joined Facebook and I had to give him some tips) and had to relive it a little. I managed to not cry then either so maybe I'm ready to talk to my friends again (I know it's OK if I still feel like crying about it if I want to, I just don't want to anymore.) Soon having every experience I have had in my room with Louis won't hurt quite as much as having them without him around...last night it was being with B and tonight it was folding laundry on the bed. He was always curious about what was going on and would be up here hanging out, watching me (uh he only did/watched the latter, not the former :P )
Is it crazy of me to have commissioned Jenn to paint a mini-portrait of him?
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Random thoughts/tangent:
I know there are things in my life that need a changin' and yet I'm verrrrrrrrrrrry unmotivated to actually do something, anything about them.
What good are good intentions when you take no action?
I am dipping a toe in some water though...I was watching the latest episode of "Fringe" tonight and at one point, I wondered to myself, what exactly was "Astrid's" job title/description, which led to thoughts of finding out more about law enforcement job descriptions. I think it would be cool to use a computer to help solve crimes.
I've got a site bookmarked that supposedly will quiz me and be able to tell me if a career in law enforcement is for me. No, not being a cop (I'd never pass the physical!) but maybe working in a precinct for the FBI or Homeland Security or ? doing data entry and research.
And then there is my other recent brilliant idea...going into business for myself as a computer tutor of sorts...see I talk to a lot of "older folks" on the phone who are just not comfortable using the internet and sadly doing things online is the wave of the future. The options of things you can do and accomplish just by being online are huge. Yes, one doesn't need the internet but it sure can make life a bit easier sometimes. Banking, grocery shopping, etc. And while it can be a big, scary place, if you know the basics then it's not as intimidating.
Actually, this idea really kind of intrigues me. But what exactly would I need to know or do? And how much would I charge -if anything? Maybe this needs to be something I need to find and can volunteer my services for. Will the fact that I don't have formal education be a problem? Not necessarily. Being self-taught has been OK. But then again, taking a class or two wouldn't hurt would it? Fill in the gaps in my own knowledge.
Hmm. More homework to do.
Or this is just another crazy idea as I cast about for the next big think...thing.
Why I can't just be content to just be I don't know. It feels wrong to be doing nothing to become a better person. Yet I persist in doing nothing. (I sure like writing about doing nothing though...this blog gives me some purpose and my life some meaning)
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Well, maybe time to start winding down...the new shift starts tomorrow. Gonna have to start getting to bed earlier from now one...I'll aim for 2am instead of 4am.
Welp. Onward. With slightly less of a heavy sigh.
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them