Oh I had an idea of what subject to talk about instead and now I've completely forgotten it.
Or what the hell, let's just talk about my current preoccupation...grieving over the loss of Louis.
I didn't appreciate him enough while he was around.
Tonight it was a week ago tonight he was still with me...I didn't really want to believe it would be the last night he would be with me, but deep down I just knew it was his time . And then of course tomorrow, one week since "D-Day."
I've been in touch with another Jenn (yes, 2 "n"s are correct) who is an artist and we're going to see if, based on the few small pictures of him that I have, it would be possible for her to paint a mini-portrait of him for me.
She's so talented and I think she could do him justice based on some of her other works that she's got on display at her website thepracticalgallery.com
But only if the pictures I provided are good enough. (Oh please let them be good enough)
I've been giving the roommates cat a little bit more attention the last few days. His name is Sebastian and he's got the softest fur and is sweet and affectionate too. He's also a big boy like Louis was once upon a time. I feel a little bit guilty and like I'm cheating on Louis but at the same time, it makes me feel better to give love and attention to someone, er, a living creature, who appreciates it so much. Cats are so great that way. They can't get enough petting, stroking and scratches under the ears and chin.
Pickles, the dog, isn't getting quite as much love and attention from me these days...sadly I'm a little cat-focused right now. But I don't feel too terrible about that because for the most part since I moved in, I've been very dog-focused. (It felt like I was cheating on Louis when I paid attention to Sebastian.)
So it's the weekend again. I was planning on spending it...moping around...but I may have to work on Friday...actually, I've got to get out of it. It's not official yet and I should make sure it doesn't happen. I just can't deal with that place right now. Had my monthly call review today and those always wipe me out as I take in the constructive criticism and think about the things I can improve upon.
I should see if I can find her number...the woman who wants me to cover for her. She's old school and I bet they have a home phone still...
But I'll have to make a deal with myself..if I don't work her shift on Friday, I can't just sit at home. I have to get together with at least one of my friends. Hmmm. OK. That's the deal Sam.
Onward. With heavy heart.
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them