A million things I want to do...oh, actually just one right now.

Hey peeps, am finally doing some listening at Pandora. Totally cool and like perfect! While it's fun to put the ipod on shuffle, this is going to introduce me to artists I might not have known about otherwise and have me listening to tracks I've downloaded but not listened to yet.

It's my Saturday night and I'm just hanging. Thinkin' about doing some laundry and tidying up my room. We'll see. I was supposed to have a date w/B tonight but that fell through. 3/4 bummed and 1/4 relieved because now I can have a "jammie's" day. You know how I like those!

Maybe it'll be good to just listen to music and putz around tonight..haven't done that in a long while. There are too many choices of what to watch and what to read so I'm going to make a choice by not choosing either of those things to focus on (for right now anyway) and just do this.

Tomorrow is SPCO turnback shift at 5pm and then together w/Shanna afterward. We don't know what we'll be doing yet but we want it to be fun!

Rapid change of topic ahead. A subject came up recently and I needed to reflect upon it for a bit. It is something that happened to me in the past and it can happen again though I'm doing my damnedest to make sure it doesn't.

In all this hating of my job lately I've got lots of thoughts running through my head and of course I'm being scared off of even looking for something else because of all the things I read and hear about ...there being less work and then there being even more competition for those few jobs. I know I'm really good at the service part of my job but do I really want to compete with others who are as well (it galls me to think about that...let alone admit it but I know it's true) and then potentially lose?

And of course I was thinking about what would happen if I lost the job? Am I prepared for that? No, right now it feels like that if that happened then I'd have to kill myself and yeah, while there is the hate of the job right now, I would hate being unemployed even more...maybe this is a strong indicator that I need to be back in therapy. Being employed full-time is like my anchor. Without work I'd really be drifting and lost in this great big sea of life.

Now of course I'm being melodramatic. Truth is that I've survived being unemployed before and it's doable but not good for me. Actually, when was the last time I was unemployed? Actually it's been over 6 years. Good for me! I've been at the SPCO for almost 5 (next month it will be 5 years), and at the airline for over 2 years. The last year being the first year I've been doing them both (In between there was the side trip of the opera job but we're not gonna talk about that anymore are we :P) and grateful for the bounty of employment I have.

I think I know what's at the heart of the hate of being unemployed...the no income part. Duh! If that's mainly it, then that's not so bad right?

So if I were to dream about a different job what would I dream about? What are the things about my current job that I do like? What kind of other work should I look for? Still work in a call center? Nope. I don't think so. The pressure ofmaintaining stats seem to be worse in call centers. I get why they're necessary in that environment but I don't like it. (The fact of being tied to your desk and having to account for every minute -even when you have to go pee! -is why I have no interest in being a receptionist...I don't want to worry about justifying my leaving my desk!)

OK, what else? OH, I know what I was thinking about the other day...what about working in a Sky Club or something like that. Service that is the product. Brilliant! Now I just have to do some research on it. How on earth do I find out how to get a job in one. Then again, I bet they want people who look more professional and polished. (I'm not fond of professional and polished is a good look on me but it's not ME everyday. Actually, I've been paying a bit more attention to my appearance the last couple of weeks. Oh I still have my schlubby days (real weekends) but I'm wearing my nicer clothes more often, putting on earrings 1/2 the time and doing something with my hair besides a ponytail. This is Shanna's influence on me.)

I really should find out more. Wonder if I should email my manager and ask for her advice? Maybe not a smart idea to "show my hand" though...but she did tell me in our first one-on-one get together months ago that if there was another job besides reservations that I wanted, then she would help me get there. Hmm. Gonna think about this for a minute before I go shooting off an email.

Actually, I think I'm going to go do some looking around the company intranet and see if I can find anything.

>>>>

Well, that was not a complete waste of time. I am reminded of what they are but I need to find out a lot more about what it is they do and how many people they need to do it. Do they even have a phone line that a person can work, only handling Sky Club issues? From what little I know from my side of things, I think most business is just done at each location so do they have to wear uniforms like all of the other customer service positions? I wonder what exactly they do for the people that come in. Process memberships and...? I wonder what a typical day is like? What do they need to know?

I really need to get more information. I'm debating whether or not I should send an inquiring email?

I found the area where you can view available positions and I didn't see anything that was for the Sky Club. Is that because there aren't any or that's not where you go to find out about them?

I'm reeeeaaaaalllllly tempted to send the email. Email them directly...but again, I'm wondering if I really should talk to my manager first. Now, thankfully, my manager isn't really my supervisor aka can fire me. She's more like a coach. And a good one at that. With her encouragement and support, this summer before we switched over to the new system, I got my talk time down and my calls per hour up and all without sacrificing service...in fact, I had higher satisfaction scores than I thought I would!

Do I dare trust her though with this? I think I need to have a conversation with someone about this. Her or ?

I need to believe that there is a better job for me out there. In the meantime I will be grateful for the employment. Maybe even try to really stay positive about it and see if it really can get me somewhere else.

And as stated above, focus on the positive things that I enjoy about the job....be happy when I do get to say yes and give someone what they want (the few times it happens.) I totally get off on that...and figure out how to deal with all the no's I have to say.

Hmm, what else do I like about it? I like using a computer to find answers to questions. I like talking with people and really helping them feel good about their choices. I like thinking of ideas and solutions that work for challenges and problems.

&&&^^^^^*****

OK, things to be mulling over. In the meantime, life and a necessary thing to do for myself with my employer...I have to take some time this week to do the research and figure out which health plan to sign up for for 2010. I've got to decide which health plan will pale in comparison to what I got used to for the last 2 years. The great thing I had with Stay Well, Stay Working is all done. : (

Maybe that'll be what I "do" while working tomorrow night. TB shifts are incredibly easy and boring. Just answer the occasional phone call and do a 30-second transaction on the computer. Get it done.

Onward....to tidying the room and putzing.