I hate work right now and I'm wondering if I should vent here or not? Well, vent again as I've vented before or no, stop. Enough is enough. Then again this is a diary and my diaries have never not been there for me when I needed to vent.
Poor J and her honey P got an earful when I got home from work tonight because I just couldn't hold it in. J is always so polite in asking how my night was. I bet she wishes she didn't always ask! Thought that could/would be enough for tonight but nope.
Then again, I need to focus on the positive and not the negative. Let's not send me down that fucking path.
Oooh, just got sidetracked by finding the receipt w/survey instructions from earlier today when I stopped at taco bell before work (yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, but I've only had fast food 2 x's in the last week! That's a major improvement for me!) and am complaining to them ..."Today got soft taco sups w/out tomatoes, rec'd 3 soft: 1 w/only meat & cheese no sour cream or lettuce; 1/w/meat, cheese & lettuce no sour cream & 1 w/meat, sour cream, cheese & no lettuce. Thought all 4 were what soft taco sup is...am I wrong? " [only allowed 250 characters] but I think the system is set up to reject moving forward (you know, "next") when there is criticism! I swear it knows I'm trying to complain! So then it occurred to me that I'm taking my frustrations out by complaining about someone else's employer/company and I can't decide if I feel bad about it or not. Guess what? Couldn't submit with any comments after all and couldn't even finish so just forgetting about it. Whatever. I have been one of the lucky few (from what I hear) who hasn't had a drive-thru order fucked up so I guess it was just my turn. And Guess what? WE DON'T LIVE IN A PERFECT FUCKING GODDAMN WORLD.
I'm "kicking the dog" wait that doesn't sound right. I'm "kicking the cat" ...nope that doesn't sound right either...I'm "kicking the bird" ...there, that's better. There are no birds in the house. Besides what else is there after bird? You know what I"m talking about right? The Boss kicked (yelled?) at the employee, the employee kicked the spouse/wife, the wife kicked the kid, the kid kicked the dog, ...get it? The butterfly effect w/violence.
But they need to know. Will it ensure that it won't happen again? Nope, but maybe it'll happen less. (Disregard this sentence, as you saw from above my attempts to complete this were in vain but I like the sentiment so I'm leaving it in :> )
I thought playing around on delta.com the other night would help me do my job better but nope, not as much as I would have liked.
But what else is there in this economy and job market? A lot of my co-workers have their own frustrations with the job (the m-e-r-g-e-r, the r-e-m-o-d-e-l) ...one referred to is being in "golden handcuffs" and ain't that the truth!
Hey, I just summed it up beautifully to Shanna in a chat. "just a hard night. lots of apologizing to the callers and i hate to do that. there are so many things wrong now" (yup, allow myself to leave the caps "off" when chatting.) and also "that's an understatement. our working environment has changed, our systems have changed, our people have changed...."
That explains it all big-picture wise.
OK, time to breathe and re-focus on the fact that by having a job it affords me a life I enjoy. My brother is still unemployed...10 months going on 11. I don't remember the last time he was out of work this long. Though I think the last few months he hasn't even been trying to find work...he's so discouraged. And my cousin too, stuck up in Floodwood. (AKA hell [for him]) ...his dad laid down the law..either he go to meetings with them or he can't live there. Fucking A! My cousin is over 40 years old for fuck's sake. While I respect the fact that he feels that way, it's also seriously fucked up. But where else can he go?
Breathe Sam, breathe.
Thank goodness I have some jelly belly jelly beans to munch ( ;) ) on. (Preceded by a golden delicious apple, apple fritter bread w/cream cheese and cheddar pita chips)
Now maybe time for some escapism. Last nights TV was encore night for everything but "Castle" and if ever there was a light and fluffy, pure entertainment show to watch it's that one.
Oh! And speaking of TV, what does that say about my taste in TV right now that I haven't been in any hurry whatsoever to watch the new season of "Nip/Tuck" that began a couple of weeks ago?
Later.
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them