Today sucked ass. I am having a love/hate relationship with the new system. The hate is mostly 'cause I'm not more proficient on it yet (give myself a break right? It's only been a couple of weeks...)
Plus, today I was worried about my girl, Shanna. She is in the middle, of the end, of her recent adventure and I feel so helpless. I hope it ends as soon as we hope. She is on a buddy pass and there is always an element of risk because it's standby. I just never thought it would be as bad as it has been for her. (OK, I guess I'm not making it look all that attractive a thing to take advantage of, this benefit from work of mine, but I swear it works out fine most of the time!)
Plus, I'm not going to even pick her up from the airport because now she will probably (hopefully!!!!!!!) be arriving in the morning, early morning and I don't do mornings...unless it's for sex. ;) :P
Fuck. I'm tired. I'm used to 5 days on, 2 off so it feels like it should be my weekend now but nope, I've got to push on for 3 more days.
And I'm worried about not hearing from a certain friend of mine. I think I really messed up and I didn't mean to (I do NOT crave drama for anyone else other than myself.) The whole thing is out of control and I wish I had never gotten into the position that I'm in.
Things like that are why sometimes it feels safer to just stay home and keep to myself. I can't hurt others (let alone myself) ...then again, I can't even get away from doing dumb things at work. Urgh. Not even going to get into it...let's just say you have to be careful who you jokingly call "your bitch". I was making a fucking joke and it got blown out of proportion. Fucking, fuck, fuck. (Have I not learned my lesson about making inappropriate jokes/saying inappropriate things at work in jest? That's part of what got me fired from the job I had working at a credit union a few years ago...(we were in the break room talking about bras (I didn't start it!) and I jokingly offered to just lift up my shirt and show them the one I was wearing...) Uh, yeah, I know)
Oh well, what can I do? Just learn more lessons.
I suppose I ought to wrap this up now and prepare for sleep.
Later 'gator.
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them