Since I talked to B and I'm actually doing OK. I think. I might just be suppressing emotions or something ...in order not to send myself down some depressed hole.
Or maybe it's just that I've had a lot going on -enough to keep me distracted. Last Thursday Ryan took me out for a burger and some great conversation. Then there was work Friday. Saturday night saw me at the party Irma was throwing for Matt. Nice party. Nice people.
Sunday more work and then a nice long chat via the phone with Diane. She was kind enough to let me beg off of a breakfast meet we had scheduled for Monday morning (I loathe getting any up earlier than I have to and will only do it if absolutely, positively necessary. I've really gotten spoiled working the hours I do and living the life I have...hey, you know what? That's a good thing!)
Monday, last night...more work and then after getting off early, hanging out and talking with Michelle -a co-worker has turned into my closest co-worker/friend. It's wild that we've connected as well as we have considering she's married and has 3 kids. I really had convinced myself that I wouldn't have anything in common with those-who-have-the-complete-opposite-life-than-mine but it's work that created a bond that has grown. I think it's great for both of us to have this additional adult female friend we've found in each other.
And now tonight...Tuesday, my Friday...woo hoo!
I've now got 2 days of freedom ahead of me. I hope I'll be able to keep myself...distracted enough that I don't obsess over what will happen next with him. Another week of thinking about him a million times. Another week of trying to decide what I want, don't want and/or can live with or refuse to live with anymore.
Oh let's go back to something work related...today, August 31st was the last day of qualifying activity that will determine who is going to be on the final "Summit/Pinnacle" list ...you know, the one that ROCKS because if you are on it, you get an all-expense week trip at a fabulous destination (this year, Atlantis in the Bahamas.) I had some pretty decent sales this month along with the other things, I may actually have a shot again. It didn't look good as of July 10th. I was number 11...and it's only the top 10 but my manager thinks it will all play out differently than everyone thinks. There were all sorts of criteria besides sales that they're using to determine who goes. I did OK on most of them too so who knows. Now it's just a matter of "wait and see". Oh sure I want it to have made it...BAD. But if I didn't, well, oh well. I can always try again next year. (If I stick it out for another year..who knows..I might actually follow up on my interest in finding some job I like in the food industry that doesn't involve cooking or serving! :P )
So where was I? Oh yeah, the 1st week of the "break".
I'm trying to get a feel of life without him ...then again, we could always just try being only friends who keep in touch via the occasional phone call and not see each other (our chemistry is still quite powerful even after all of these years) but again, I'll just have to wait and see what he has to say next week and see how I feel about it all then.
OK...enough for tonight. Time to pee and then think about settling down and getting some much desired sleep (and oh how I'm going to enjoy sleeping my ass off tomorrow...I've been staying up way too late this week goofing around on the computer...)
Onward. Just...onward.
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them