Where To Begin...

Actually before I do this post I'm gonna go have a smoke. I'll be right back.

OK, so I'm back. So where to begin? Maybe I'll just talk about "Drop Dead Diva" ...a new show on Lifetime that's a new favorite. (Though the long, longing glances & stares are a bit much.)

I can't help but compare it with a show I loved, "Ally McBeal"...a series set at a law firm with interesting cases as seen from the point of view of a single, trying-to-figure-life-out-while-working-with-the-love-of-her-life-but-can't-be-with-him woman. In fact, now that I think about it, it makes me also miss another law show called "Kevin Hill" that I liked that wasn't as successful, ratings-wise & was canceled too soon...and maybe the latter is because one of the actresses on that show, Kate Levering (thanks google/imdb), played a lawyer on it and is now also playing a lawyer on "DDD".

Anyhoo. I'm likin' it and will keep watching. I haven't watched a series about a lawyer/law firm in awhile ...not sure why except the list of shows I watch and have been watching is already so long that I never made time for Boston Legal, etc. so what the heck. I'm ready to give the genre a try again (and maybe since I'm a HUGE James Spader fan I just might give Boston Legal a chance when I've got some time to catch up on yet another series)

It's almost the end of my Saturday and I've just been having a mellow day, just hanging out in my p.j.'s with only the animals to keep me company. I'm OK with that today. It's been a whirlwind of a week the past 7 days so I'm glad for some down time. Besides, Aunt Flo is finally here! Those lovely little tiny pills did the trick and now while I'm not looking forward to the reality (time for the old underwear to make an appearance), I'm looking forward to the "cleansing" out of my body, the lower back pain to become manageable again and my moods to get back to a fairly even keel.

My birthday this year was the best I've had in years...starting with that lovely birthday card from D (she called me a burst of sunshine! and gave me a gift card for itunes) to the fantastic/awesome/wonderful evening with B, followed by throwing a nice little get-together and spending time with some really great people. The back deck really is a nice spot to spend a summer evening. T even gave me a really cool necklace and that was so unexpected considering I haven't seen her in over 20 years! I was glad she was able to come over & hang out. I'm looking forward to spending time with her again.

The day of my actual b-day was good, even though I had to work. After work, I listened to my voice mail & had a nice b-day greeting from my friend S, who told me there was a gift certificate for me in my email (he's so flippin' generous. Just like a previous year, he got me another good-sized amount for amazon.com!) and then I got together w/I for some good company, conversation and yummy lasagna she had made. My roommate even got me a card & some yummy treats. What a sweetie. (Side note: it was the 1 year anniversary of my living here on the 27th...time flies when you're having fun right?) All in all, a nice way to end the passing of another year.

I really do love birthdays, especially mine. There is nothing quite like a day that is truly all about ME :P with no guilt at thinking I'm being self-absorbed or selfish.

I'm still displaying my cards (& the lovely flowers R got me) on my desk downstairs.

I feel so lucky, blessed, grateful & loved. It's amazing what happens when you poke your head out of your hole and reach out to people. I sometimes wonder why they all put with my hermit tendencies but I think it's 'cause they know it's nothing to do with them...they know that I think they are all fantastic, wonderful people. My heart just overflows with love just thinking about everyone.

But now, back to reality. What is the next BIG thing I'm looking forward to? Um, hmm. Have to think about that.

That is something that preoccupies me ...while I often need to just focus on surviving each day and getting from one moment to the next, I do like having something big to look forward to. Some event or occasion.

Maybe I'll finally stop talking about it and finally look into volunteering for something. I've been saying I should volunteer for years now but never seem to get around to it, having one lame excuse after another.

R is a big brother, I works with kids (well, it's a part-time job but still) and even B takes turns serving meals to the families at the Ronald McDonald house. I mean, what else do I do on my days off? Usually just veg out at home and while I need some veg time to recharge my "customer service battery", I don't need to devote 2 full days to it.

Or maybe this is just gonna be another coulda, woulda, shoulda thing I talk about like finding a new job or going to school.

When am I ever going to actually move forward in my life? What is holding me back from just taking one little step?

Yup, another birthday passing by & I'm reflecting on my life again. I should have seen that last paragraph coming from a mile away.

Well, I think this is enough for now. Besides, I want to go indulge my compulsion to spend every penny I "have" & go find some more goodies with my amazon gift certificate. :)