It's One For the History Books Kids!

I'm tired. I'm still recovering from an awesome night out with Shanna, her fiance' Osman, her cousin, her sister and the sister's g/f on Thursday night. I got completely trashed (are we still using that word to describe being absolutely & completely drunk?) on $1 rum & cokes at a place downtown Minneapolis called "Drink".

I was really nervous about going out to a club/bar because I haven't done it in ages...(I think the last time was....? In San Diego last year when visiting Scott???) (Oh, there I go again using full names instead of initials! I guess the trend will continue...) (...I wanted to go out with a feeling of confidence/sexiness so I managed to see B (he'll be the exception to the name thing -no putting his name out there per his request) for a bit prior to meeting up with them. Nothin' like that "just got laid" flush to the cheek! (It worked, but more on that later!))

1 drink turned into 7 (they were the short glasses!) and a good time was certainly had. Drinkin', dancin' and the people watching were the accomplishments of the night. (I hated that it was so hot though. Hard to look sexy when your sweating like a pig) Near the end of the night, after we decided no more booze for me, I was outside having a smoke (or two or five) when I got chatted up (I think?) by a guy from Peru named Julian. Nice enough man. I of course had to mention B. I think that was my way of making sure that if the guy was at all interested, he would change his mind and nobody would get hurt.

Afterward Shanna, I and our little group headed to the Uptown Diner. Another place I haven't been to in years. (Why oh why does greasy diner food taste best after a night of heavy drinkin'??? :P )

Coming out of the ladies room w/Shanna at one point, another guy wanted to chat me up but I was really out of it and just wasn't having any of it though I tried to tell him that he was sweet & cute as he was leaving.

Weird that men were wanting to chat me up. I mean I know I'm hot stuff ( :P ) to B and he always teases me that everyone wants the...Sam...but the reality is quite the opposite -usually. The only other time I recall some stranger making the first move was way back when Shanna & I were living together...we went to the Chipotle on Nicollet Mall for dinner and as I was waiting outside for her (she went back in to wash her hands) this guy comes up to me and starts off by asking me if my name was...? (geez, can't remember now) ...I of course say no, but then we start chatting & he's telling me how much I look like this woman he used to know (in retrospect, lame pick-up approach?) ...it eventually led to him asking me if he could call me sometime for coffee...

His name was Tom and we went out a couple of times. After our 2nd "date" we were back at the apt. making out and I found out what a bad kisser he was. (Too much saliva!) Then he just disappeared. No calls, nothing. Even though he was a bad kisser, I still was having a nice time with him (and bad kissing can usually be remedied...(right?) so I'm pissed and hurt thinking he's doing that stupid thing that men do when they don't have the balls to tell you that "they're just not that into you" ...vanish in to thin-fucking-air. (I've lost count of how often that has happened...y'all know what I'm talkin' about!)

But as the saying goes, when it rains it pours...I'm still feeling fairly good about the initial attention and it's then that I end up meeting this man named George (through one of the online dating sites where I had a personal posted) who I instantly clicked with...so much that so that we spent the night together the first night we met (ooooh, such a bad girl!) ...anyway George & I had one of those brief but very intense relationships and about a week into it, Tom starts calling me again. Tells me that he had some family medical emergency and that's why he never called.

I told him I understood but that he could have just called me, just a brief call to let me know what was going on (again, retrospect, too harsh?) and that I was sorry to hear it but that I had just started seeing someone else. I remember that he was upset and kept calling. He was surprised that I was seeing someone else already (he wasn't the only one, I couldn't believe it myself!!)...but I just clicked with George way more than I had with him (and George was a FANTASTIC kisser -the 2nd best I've ever had...*sadly B is NOT the best ...that honor is reserved for this guy Cameron I kissed once years ago...he was the best friend of the guy who was my "first" ...ooooh, I've been such a hussy haven't I? Then again Byron & I weren't b/f g/f -man, don't even make me get into how that was another relationship that wasn't straightforward/simple right now please.)) (Uh, am not too concerned w/B reading about this...the poor guy is so fucking busy that he doesn't read this. Boo hoo and whew!)

(Note: Things with George ended badly. We had been going out for only about 3 weeks (about a week into the relationship he said those three little words that I didn't say back...it was too soon for me) when I just got this bad feeling in my gut after he canceled a date we were supposed to have and wasn't returning my phone calls/emails..a couple of days later he sent me a "Dear John" email. I was great, wonderful, etc. but he had met up with an ex and was going to be getting back together with her. I left him a nasty vmail telling him to go to hell...this was not what you did when you said you loved someone...)

Oh good grief, the drama of it all!

Anyway, so now I've been back with B for over 5 years now and I consider myself "off the market".

But I really do need to be open to new, fully available love don't I? So going out and talking with men is no crime.

It just always shocks the hell out of me when someone else is making the first move, even if it's the little one of approaching me to talk. Most of my life I've been the one to do it. Being the aggressor and instigator is a flaw...because it rarely works and I think it's scared more than one boy/guy/man off.

Back to Thursday night...it certainly was flattering as hell and a real boost to my ego to be approached (and I'm not even going to say that they were just horny and looking for an easy score...thinking that a fat chick would be easy....)

I'm glad I went and I'll go again. I know the putting of myself out there and having a good time is progress for this hermit.