Happy Birthday Shanna!

(Gasp, I'm actually using a full name and not just an initial!)

I'm going to start a new tradition...Upon the birthday of my dear friends, I'm going to dedicate a post to them, starting with Shanna.

She's 30 years old today and a few days ago we were chatting about the upcoming big 3-0 and I told her that the 30's are fantastic. She didn't want to/doesn't believe me but I wasn't lying. Now of course, at the time, I thought the same thing and so I went ahead and did some crazy things -thinking I had better before I was too old to have wild & crazy fun anymore. So the night I turned 30, under cover of darkness (but in the light of the moon) I went across the street, to the local kiddie pool and skinny-dipped. Now this was in the city. In a neighborhood full of houses where people could come walking by at anytime. I floated back and forth, enjoying the feel of the cool water on my nekkid body on this hot summer night. I felt brave & crazy & free. It was wonderful! I had just gotten my underwear and t-shirt back on when a woman came by w/her dog. We were chatting & I ended up confessing what I had just done (me & my big mouth of course) and she said good for me (thanks lady!)

Now thankfully, that didn't end up being the last wild & crazy thing I did in my 30's (the next year (or really was it the year I turned 29? (I honestly can't remember because it was sooooooo long ago! :P) I went for beers w/a neighbor & her b/f, we got drunk & a threesome (of sorts) was had!)

Ahem, anyhoo....

While I may still be trying to figure out my shit, I've found that over the last 9 years, I've become more confident, less self-conscious & insecure. I can't pinpoint exactly when or how it happened but things just got better.

I met Shanna when I was in my late 20's when we were both working at what used to be called Lutheran Brotherhood. We were both temps and I don't even remember why or how we started talking & becoming friends (can we just blame this on all the pot I was smokin' at the time??) but we did...bonding over smoke breaks outside. She was so much younger than me and our lives were very different but there was an immediate connection. As the years went by, I even felt like she was a younger version of me, except skinny! :P

We kept in touch, even after leaving the job and a couple of years later we went ahead and shared an apartment (a cheap, but w/lots of character but ultimately crappy one) in Uptown for a year. That year was an adventure. While we were alike, we were also total opposites in that she always was going out & I was always staying in (the hermit years had begun) but living with her was a blast. So many reasons why it was so cool include that she always smelled great, looked great and inspired me to care more about my appearance; coloring my hair, wearing make-up & wearing nicer clothes than I had been. I was in touch with my inner goddess. Thanks to her I learned how to make a decent cup of coffee (when not making an entire pot.) I also learned the difference between good incense & bad. (Bad just smells like smoke, not the scent). We may have lived different lifestyles but she could always be counted on to hang out with me when I needed a shoulder and vice versa. We spent many a night out on the front steps just enjoying the night & smoking. We bonded over unavailable, horrible men, work, mothers that drove us crazy & "Sex and the City". She had great taste in furniture and I lucked out that when we finally did move I was able to get a comfy couch & chair for furniture from her.

She was, is, the little sister I never had (and I desperately wanted a sister growing up!)

I've mentioned this before but I'm so grateful that we managed to stay friends after living together. My anti-social, stubborn self hadn't/hasn't driven her away.

We keep on keepin' in touch and while we've only gotten together a handful of times the past few years, when we do get together it's like we just pick up where we left off.

In her, I've got a friend I trust completely and I never doubt that I'm good enough, smart enough or pretty enough to be her friend. She just gets me and lets me be me (just like some other dear friends of mine...you know who you are!) She's beautiful. Smart. Kind. Funny. Interesting. Complex. Brave. Sincere. Passionate. Loving. And because she's a human being & not a robot, she can also be, at times, moody, impatient & exasperating but I only say that 'cause that's me too! (I told you in some ways she's a younger version of me right? :) )

So she's not looking forward to being 30 but really, it's not so bad. Every day that passes is another day you get to choose to take what you've learned and apply it to your life. You accept yourself more fully, flaws and all. You get a clearer picture of what it is you do & don't want for your self & your life. You learn to appreciate the good things in your life that you've worked really hard for. You make fewer mistakes based on lack of knowledge & wisdom. You learn to pick your battles and focus on the positive. You have a clearer picture of who you are and your place in this world and it only gets better as the years go by. You can still be wild, crazy, impulsive & have fun with less drama & heartache because you know what lines not to cross anymore.

Shanna, you're still you. Just getting to be a better, happier you every day. You are appreciated & loved very much.

Happy happy birthday (again) my dear!