What's It All About?


"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates

While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.

You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase." MLK

Monday, March 14, 2022

Am I Really Ready For This?

Every once in a while, I start obsessing over my relationship. And that time has come again.

I love that man so much but I'm tired of sitting on the shelf. I'm tired of living in this constant state of "pause". I want to live life with the man I love NOW. 

And if he can't do that, then I think we need to re-evaluate and take a break. 

It makes me furious that I can't be with the man I love, not even on an occasional basis. 

It makes me mad that the man I love thinks there is only one way for this to "go down"...waiting until his daughter is 18. It's going to be awful no matter when it happens. 

and if I do throw down the ultimatum, it will either go my way or it won't. 

If it does, great. If it doesn't..my heart will break and won't be the same again. It will be full of cracks and holes.

5 years ago, I asked that when I was ready to be a step-mom, would he make that happen and he said yes. 

So now 5 years later and sure we agreed to wait until she's 18 but in hindsight that is unreasonable. I'm going to have waited 9 years for this? 

Maybe it seemed like the path to resistance to agree to that but the reality really fucking sucks. 

Posted by at

Noire

Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!

Things I'm grateful for everyday....

- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)

Current Favorite Quotes

“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain

(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)

7-25-07

1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.

Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)

  • 1. No one can bring your life to you
  • 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
  • 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
  • 4. Every choice means giving up something different
  • 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
  • 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
  • 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
  • 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
  • 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them