Have I mentioned that my parent's can be impulsive people (so THAT'S where I get that from too! To think about the things about us that we got from the people that raised us is 'nother topic for 'nother day...maybe.)
Anyway...in light of my mother's health problems -oh actually both of their health problems -Pop's got a hernia (that he's waiting to get surgery on until he's got health insurance again (in April he turns 65 and becomes eligible for ...Medicare)) -they've decided that they're going to move back to a 2 bedroom apartment and this time get permission to have my brother live with them to help take care of them. (They live in a 55+ building that doesn't allow anyone under 55 to live there -not even with those who are. (This involves getting a note from my mother's doctor that says it's medically necessary for my brother to live there, as a live in aid to help my Pop out in taking care of her.))
And all I can feel is a BIG load of ...relief. That he's been picked to help take care of them instead of me. (It helps that he's also attending meetings.)
And THAT has got to be the most selfish thought I've ever had in my life (and I've had a LOT.)
And they're all moving forward with this -with moving apartments and my brother giving up his apartment and breaking the lease. And they're aiming for February. As in like 3 or so weeks away!
And then what also blows my mind ...actually what I envy, is that my mother has found the kind of love that includes someone taking care of her. Someone to love her so much they're sticking around.
I'm a bit envious of that right now as for some reason my back has decided to say "fuck you for not keeping up with your excercises/physical activity" and is acting up and it's one of those times I wish I had someone taking care of me.
I know I'm not really a bad daughter. My mother even said that there are things I can do for them that Jason can't (computer/internet stuff apparently counts.)
So I'll take it and do what I can, where and when I can.
And it's time to remember that there was a reason PT helped. Because it was getting me off my butt. I was staying active. The exercises prescribed kept the pain down to a minimum.
Fuck.
Why does it have to come in fits and starts -the desire to stay active? Why can't it just be a constant thing? Maybe it's time to do some Google reading on being active (or I could get off my butt and do some of the easier exercises to get my body moving couldn't I??)
It's a new year and I do like the idea of fresh starts. Time to think about some goals.
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them