I've been back at work the last couple of days and today was fun (and I'm not being sarcastic.) Had a couple of training/update/new info. meetings and was able to clarify questions I've had and hopefully the job will now be a bit easier (the time off of the phones doesn't hurt.) I think I make things harder for myself than they have to be but after today, hopefully that won't be the case anymore. While I miss having a job where I'm the "expert" and it's easy for me, I don't like being bored and this job is rarely boring -especially in these Delta/NWA merger integration days.
So I've been thinking that I need to get back to focusing on "work to live" vs. "live to work" - I finished "Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow" and one of the main points I'm going to focus on is doing my best while doing my current job. Why not make the best of a bad job and see what happens. Instead of being so negative and unhappy I'm gonna try just accepting it for what it is and focus on the thing I do in it that does make me happy, which is give great customer service.
That book was not what I expected but was helpful. Why not focus on being the best person I can, doing the best job that I'm capable of and seeing where that leads me.
I'm hopeful someday again I'll have a job that's more than this though. I was doing a bit of grieving the other night about the ticket office manager job that I lost a couple of years ago. I know, I know, it's been 2 1/2 years and I'm not over it yet. It was the hardest job I've ever had (well, it was the hardest job up until the current one.) It wasn't perfect and it took me away from actually helping people, but it was a job that made me feel ALIVE. A job that I jumped out of bed for -even at 5 in the morning. I loved knowing that I could make a difference and use the years of experience I had. Each day was exciting, challenging and it pushed me to learn things I didn't know. (Confession -I also got off on the position of "power". I was a big fish in small pond. This Leo LOVED that.) I was great at it, not perfect but pretty damn great.
My mother (who was working at the big O around this time) was talking to another woman we know after the whole experience happened and supposedly my being let go wasn't really because I lacked management experience like they said (well, I know it was a wee bit of it as I really hadn't had that much management experience. But a person can learn! They should be given a chance to learn and grow right? Uh, am I right?) They just wanted to hire who they originally wanted to hire. They settled for me until they could get her. They gave me the chance to soar and then popped the air balloon that was holding me up. I got caught up in stupid office politics (or some such nonsense.) Didn't they, don't they realize they crushed me and broke my heart when they let me go? (Uh-oh, here come the melodramatic police again) I think that might be why I'm also scared to get out there again. After this, I went back to my safe/easy job at SPCO and then along came NWA. A hard job, but very one-dimensional.
I know I need to find a job that makes me feel that way again -but with more people customer service elements and less administrative. A job that won't consume me the way this one did (though I didn't mind 12 hour days at this one) because then my life would be like it was when I worked so much I didn't have a life...(I'm starting to feel like job "Goldilocks" That one was too much and the current is too little.)
In the meantime I'll be thinking about what I will be working to live for. I guess I hope that by getting a better attitude I'll be a more positive person which can only be a good thing. Maybe I'll stop being such a 'fraidy cat (ha) and be willing to "put myself out there again" (hmm, this is like dating isn't it?) or finally make a fucking (oooh, dropping the f bomb -hope nobody is offended) decision about school. I admire my friends/co-workers who did/do/are doing the school thing while working full-time. (Though do I really need to do the school thing to get a better job when I don't even know what that job is?)
Do I need to get a life so I stop obsessing over this crap? Are you tired of me obsessing about it?
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them