Sorry about that. I meant to come back and do another post right away but you know, life, got in the way.
Update on my court thing. I accepted a deal that said as long as I don't have any more "school bus violations" in a year, then it all goes away and I have 6 months to pay off $175 in fines/fees.
I could have insisted on finding video, go to court/jury but I just wanted to get on with the business of ...life.
Not that there really is going on at the moment. I thought I had a lot more of stuff to talk about but don't find myself feeling particularly chatty right now.
Though...things here at home with O & V are really good. We are a family and we are his "parents" and we're a good team. We have strengths and weaknesses that are complimentary, and V is getting both of his physical AND emotional needs met.
And I'm so proud of him. In little over a week, it will be our 2-year anniversary and I'm still so grateful every day that they came into my life. Being part of a real family like this ...sharing responsibilities of caring for a kid...who knew I could have handled it very well had I had a chance to do that with B! Oh well.
I love seeing how much V has grown physically, mentally and emotionally over these last couple of years.
Because of him, I know what my dream job would be at this time in my life. I would love to work with LGBTQ2+ youth. Be a youth advocate. I have an opportunity now to go to Normandale Community College this summer to get my associates in psychology. I'm hoping a lot of my credits from Strayer and Sophia transfer because then I'd be done with that program that much quicker which should help career-wise -get my foot in the door somewhere doing what I want to do. Unless I seriously pursue that lead I got from Dr. E (V's Dr.)
On that front, silence.
And everywhere I look - on social media of all things - are things about not staying with someone who isn't actively showing you that they want to be with you. "Love Yourself Enough to Let Them Go" - but I resist that message as I'm not really with him yet. Do I wish it was as simple as he would have decided long ago to divorce and be with me? Yes, sometimes. But I wasn't ready. I think I needed to go through all that I went through which led me to this place, where I can appreciate getting a taste of what his life has been like. Living in a household where responsibility for a kid is the #1 priority is not a small thing.
In the meantime, I'm also beginning the process of applying for social security disability. I don't know how that will go but I do know that my body isn't like it used to be.
Speaking of my body - while it's not working quite as well as it used to be, at least, thankfully I am losing some weight. I got a little off track recently, but I'll get back on track. For me, smaller portions, more veggies/fruit and more water has been a great start. Totally doable when I put my mind to it :P The feeling of seeing the number go down when I get weighed is THE best feeling in the world.
Did I mention I got a free membership to a gym (LA Fitness) with my health insurance and I can go swimming whenever I want...and I've gone only once since I signed up :( ) -going up and down the steps on errands or taking V out and about is all the activity I'm getting these days. I know I need more than that.
When does need turn into do? I'm such a big talker, not so much a doer. Maybe that's what I should give some serious thought to...er, I mean, some active study!
Ha! Maybe I'd just be using that as another excuse not to look for work. Though I've got lots of good excuses for why I'm not really doing that...all of the uncertainty in our government right now with that evil orange one and his pet piranha causing chaos. And what if I qualify for social security disability? Don't I need to know more about that before I seriously look for work?
Anyway, in spite of everything...I consider myself very lucky. Very blessed. O and V have a lot to do with that. While I'm going this phase of my life, I'm not alone.
I want this with B...at least I used to. It's so hard not having a clue wondering what the fuck is going through his mind.
