My Mother Has Four Noses

I just got home from treating myself to a "night out" ...I bought myself a ticket to see my favorite singer, Jonatha Brooke perform a show to she wrote about her mother. It was at the Guthrie and it was ...wonderful.

The PLAY 

My Mother Has Four Noses

Three Septembers ago I moved my mother to New York. She was in the mid stages of Alzheimer's. I had no idea what I was getting in to. But there was no question I would be there for her. We had quite an adventure - my "real life" on the back burner, my "career" all but halted. But our very vivid, very "real" life together was, at times, great theatre.

Mom was a character. In fact I've always thanked her on stage for all the good material (she's right! As a long time fan, having seen her in concert, she sure did!) Ironically, in her last two years, she found her best audience ever - Me. She was funny, she was impossible. My only instinct: write it, sing it, tell it. It was her instinct too: Almost daily she would say, "Boolie, (my nickname) "That's good! are you getting this down? We should make a play out of it!!"

Well I was getting it down. "My Mother Has Four Noses" is what came of it: A play and a new album of the songs that weave in and out of the telling...."

I had no idea what kind of night I was in for and it was...brilliant and heartbreaking.

This is what a message I sent to her (via FB) ...written on the long bus ride home from Minneapolis to St. Paul.

Hi. Long long time fan writing to say thank you for ...well, sharing yet another piece of your heart and soul with the world. I was at the performance tonight, Tuesday, at the Guthrie and much as I wanted to stay after I let the prospect of the journey home (to St. Paul via several buses, at night, in winter) propel me out the door the minute the lights went up. I wanted my mother to come with me to see this and I really wish she had. She's a writer and poet and larger than life personality and while she isn't suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's she has several serious medical issues related to congestive heart failure and type 2 diabetes on top of the disability of her equilibrium being gone for several decades now (long story) ...anyway... She's been in the hospital over a dozen times over the last couple of years and so much of what you shared was so...spot on in describing the highs and lows, the joys and pains of dealing with the reality of an aging mother who you love so much. Watching them fight what is happening to them and the things they are doing to make sure they leave their mark on the world outside of their children (my mother is currently rewriting her first novel) is both exciting and heartbreaking. I cried tonight...at times trying not to sob and interrupt.... So anyway, again, thank you for sharing. All of that I now realize you have already shared bits and pieces of in and through your music all of these years and adds extra layers to what I already loved. I hope this show is put on DVD at some point because I would love to share it with my mother. Thank you again.

...
 
So just another significant moment in my life that I'm needing to ...share and make sure I never forget about.

Jonatha has been my favorite singer for probably about 20 years now (OMG, yes, apparently 20 years now) and at times her music has been the soundtrack to certain parts of my life.

Here are the lyrics to a couple of my favorites...

Because I Told You So

If I gave you the sky
If I laid down my life
Would you believe me then?
If I promised to change
If I carried the blame
Would you believe me then?

Could you see it like me
And believe what I see
Could you listen, and remember that I love you
Only, because I told you, because I told you so.

If you told me you lied
But I stayed true and tried
Would you believe me then?
And if your beauty was gone
But my love lingered on
Would you believe me then?

Could you see it like me
And believe what I see
Could you listen and remember that I love you
Only,
Because I told you, because I told you so.

You take the wheel for now
I'm too tired to drive this one home anyhow,
For now
And when you mention my name
Let this one thing remain,
My love,
Believe me now.

and

Everything I Wanted

So this is how it feels to be happy, to find real true love
To be wanted, to be real
We throw away the rest of the past, every small broken thing
We find new things that will last

And everything's the same but my name
And I have everything I wanted
For a change I'm not ashamed
And I have everything I wanted

It's another gorgeous day in Miami, I am missing you
Can you hear me, are you real
Never home for long we are passing in our dreams at night
But we send signals we can feel

And everything's the same but my name
And I have everything I wanted
For a change, I'm not ashamed
And I have everything I wanted
We make do, we get by
We don't know how or why
We lose track, were we happy?
Could we take anything back? If we could,
Would we try?

And every single day I am grateful, I hold my heart in my hands
And I love you, this is real

And everything's the same but my name
And I have everything I wanted
For a change I'm not ashamed
And I have everything I wanted
For a change I'm not the same
And I have everything I wanted
For a change I'm not to blame
and I have everything I wanted

Not ashamed, everything I wanted
Not to blame, everything I wanted
For a change, everything I wanted
not ashamed.

I could copy and paste lyrics all night but I think you get the point. Deep, meaningful lyrics that speak for me. Say things I didn't know I wanted to say.

And on that note, I'm going to put myself to bed now, with her songs singing me to sleep.

Goodnight.