Letting the colder weather get to me. Not feeling motivated to be going, going, going.
Thinking too much about things…e.g. men from my past. Thinking it might be an interesting series of posts…to talk about some of the men I’ve known and my relationships with them. Most of my significant adult relationships have been with men…? (Lemme think about this for a minute….)
BV, EB, SC, JC, B, RD...
(Women: uh, nope can’t think of any on the same level as the
men…the women are from childhood, adolescence and young adulthood….hmmm, that’s
interesting in itself isn’t it? DDC, JS(JA)…)
Anyway, the reason I was just thinking about this especially
now is because BV, my first, had a birthday this past weekend. And since I
moved into my apartment, I’ve been only listening to my ipod and without the
car, no radio…and it’s been mostly on “shuffle” …no playlist, just shuffle.
Listening to an ipod that has over 5,000 songs on it. Songs I’ve collected that
were from or remind me of certain times of life (and songs I like/love of
course too) and there are lots of songs …
from the BV years.
Sinead O’Connor, the B-52’s, Cocteau Twins and Voice of the
Beehive. Oh and the Sugarcubes.
And I’m thinking about SC, who I am hopefully going to be
visiting this weekend.
And RD, who just got married a little over a week ago.
And RD, who just got married a little over a week ago.
And now though I’m wondering if I really should write about
the relationship/friendship. Is it enough that I just acknowledge that there
have been several significant relationships with men in my past?
Maybe I should think about lessons learned in those
relationships to help me navigate the new …friendship I’m developing with SD.
I’m having a hard time relaxing and letting things just unfold as they will.
And how do you just be yourself and yet not be????
Fuck.
I am probably just outright thinking too much.
(Really, you think?)
