And now for even more people to be grateful for.

Sometimes I'm completely overwhelmed by my love for the people in my life...

You know when you get that call? The one in the middle of the day that throws you off course because all of a sudden things are NOT fine, not normal.

My mother went into the hospital yesterday. It turns out she hasn't been breathing well which led to her not sleeping for 3 days. When I got there after work last night, she was awake though and with oxygen was her sparkling self -maybe a bit manic because of the lack of sleep but she was her lively self and it was a relief to see.

We had a good talk, about a lot of things ...at one point, she was in tears because she said I don't sound angry with her anymore (long long long story) and she was so happy about that. And she's right. There was a lot of talk about being stubborn and too smart for my own good...and how similar we are in so many ways. That used to scare the pants off of me but for all her own selfish, self-involved ways (that IS where I get it from you know :P) she loves me like crazy.

Then tonight, going there again after work, she wasn't her sparkling self but that had a lot to do with the fact that they were doing all sorts of tests and finding out what was wrong with her.

It came, comes down to her being overweight, the bosom being too big for her short frame (like she (and I!) have never ever heard that before!) and it was respiratory ...failure.

It occurs to me that I'm all about "women are beautiful and should be at peace with themselves, their bodies" and I've never had that talk with my mother about self-love and self-confidence...hmmm. Something to think about and maybe write about later...anyway, I will maybe have that conversation with her tomorrow (and dazzle her some more with my "maturity"! :P ) We need to get her to the point where she has to love herself enough to really do what she has to do with the exercise and such. She did mention maybe joining Weight Watchers again (it has worked well for in the past and is working well for some ladies I work with now...)

They're not letting her go home yet but when she does, they are going to send her home with a machine, similar to a CPAP (?) machine that will help her breathe at night.

I'm going to head back there tomorrow night -as long as she is still there -and have some more quality time with her -well best we can under these circumstances.

Tonight, afterward, Pop and I went for a beer and a burger...well, he had beer...and we had some quality time of our own. He's such a character. I'll tell you about him sometime.

And that's really what we do in our family. We don't have quantity, but we have quality.

We call all be truly ourselves with each other.

And I love my parent's with such a fierceness that it's overwhelming. Oh sure we've had our issues over the years but we're always there for each other.

Then coming home tonight and Ryan was there to give me a hug and chat with and I'm so fucking grateful for his friendship and presence in my life.

Sharing a home with him may have some interesting ...moments (let's just call it that shall we? :P) but I'm so happy to not be living alone. As much as I want my own little "nest" a little closer to work, this is a really good place for me to be.

I've got an aunt who, in spite of her own challenges (that's putting it mildly) is totally loving and supportive of me.

I've got a big brother who always helps out with whatever I need.

I've got co-workers who are fun and helpful.

(Have I mentioned how much happier I am work? Yes? So many times you're getting tired of hearing about it?)

The car is STILL running. I've got a good roof over my head. Food in the cupboard. A little bit of money in the bank -enough to get me by. A man who knows how to make me purr like a kitten ;)

Life is good. I may actually say a little prayer and give some thanks to the big guy upstairs.

Onward. With hope that Mom will do what she has to do and will get better (lose weight/exercise, etc.) and will be around for a long long time.