Just another post written in the middle of the night. I'm actually a bit sleepy having just taken a shower. I've discovered I dig taking my shower at night because then I can sleep in just that little bit longer in the "morning".
I know I haven't posted in awhile. You know how it is right? Life just keeps happening and takes over. The wild thing is that I'm so overwhelmed and anxious about certain things that you'd think that writing about them would make me feel better but it's like I've got so much going on in my head and to try to even put it all down in writing is too much. My ordinary, humdrum life is being given a toss and turn. I'm still pissed off about the break-in and that they took my computer. I keep wondering if I'm going to find the house broken into again when I get home from work. I worry about the new computer and have been hiding it. Speaking of the new computer, I am very grateful I was given the opportunity to get it sooner rather than later but indulge me a bit in my whining about how it's not as nice as my other one. It's not as comfortable to "type" on I'm discovering as I write this post tonight, the first significant bit of writing I've done on it. And then there is that it heats up so quickly compared to the other one. Maybe I'll be able to someday afford an "upgrade" to that other one again. Working for Troy is going to only be a good thing for me financially. I've done one project so far and soon will be doing more....
But anyway...here I am. With change on the horizon. With excitement at the next chapter in my life story. But also with a little fear in my gut.
The change? Moving. Moving again. Out of the fabulous' house. In less than a week now. Moving in with Ryan, to rent out his basement. I still think it's wild how I only really intended to be here for a few months...maybe a year. And then that turned into about 2 1/2 years. She gave me a home...but more than that, came to my rescue in a variety of ways more times that I can count or will ever be able to thank her for. It is not lost on me that as a grown woman of 40 that I should not need rescuing but well, we all need help sometimes I guess. Right?
I'm not looking forward to the actual process of moving but then again, as it'll be my brother and Pop helping out once again, along with a co-worker and her truck and the lack of possessions I own I think we'll be done in a couple of hours. At least I hope that's the case as I have to work my usual shift that day!
I think Ryan and I will be good roommates. We're good friends but not joined at the hip and with our opposite schedules, again, it's an ideal set up for a roommate scenario. Plus with my being in the basement we'll each have our own space. And our own bathrooms!
The fear? On Wednesday (coincidentally also B's birthday!) I have to go to court for my accident with no car insurance. Finally. While I'm glad I'll be able to put it behind me, I'm freaking out about whether or not they're going to either take my license or throw me in jail or both! Everyone keeps telling me that it'll be fine but they've never been in my shoes! Various results from my search on "Google" say the same thing -because it is a misdemeanor "The Court can order you to serve up to 90 days of jail time. Other penalties for driving without insurance in Minnesota can be license suspension or revocation of your registration." . It's a first (and fucking last) offense so I'm going to pray neither of those things happen. Yup. I'm really gonna pray on this one. (Don't tell my parent's but I do actually pray sometimes...a lot of times to just give thanks for all the things I am thankful for...I don't think prayer or religion is only for the bad times...OK, not gonna get into all of that right now)
Anyhoo...my brother, the coolest big brother EVER is going to go with me, in fact drive me, just in case. I'm more grateful for the moral support than anything. I'm so glad I don't have to go and do it alone.
One way or another I will just have to deal with the consequences won't I? If I'm not mistaken I believe my new place is on a bus route too so if the worst that happened was the loss of my license then I'd still be able to get back and forth to work ...that would totally fucking suck but it wouldn't be the end of the world would it?
And think of the money I'd save on insurance and gas and repairs/maintenance! But oh how I'd mourn the loss of my freedom.
OK, OK, OK, this is why whenever I start thinking about going to court I get sick to my stomach. Time to think of something else. I will just hope and pray for the best and focus on the positive.
Ah crap, it's now 3am. I should think of calling it a night. OK. I think this will have to be enough for tonight.
G'night.
P.S. Am including a song that will hopefully remind me of another topic I'm going to revisit soon. Enjoy! Oh nevermind. Can't find a good "video" to embed for Colin Hay's "Waiting for My Real Life to Begin". Poo.
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them