So it's now been almost 2 weeks since the move and I'm settling into my new place...slowly.
The move was tougher than I thought...leaving the animals who while driving me crazy also gave me unconditional love and affection. But now I will just remain content to love them from afar.
Time to just take care of me and me alone.
And there are a lot of ways I need to do that.
I need to stop getting in my own way, especially at work. I may hate parts of my job (keeping track of my damn stats!) but I find it's easier to bear after I've had that one-on-one with my manager and gotten both praise, support and a gentle kick in the ass. I have to stop getting in my own way. And I have to make sure I'm actually there to do that.
So I'm looking at my new living life as a new beginning. Since I've moved in, I haven't called in sick. The next paycheck will be the first one that has the full 80 hours on it. I think I'm inspired by Ryan. We both struggle with getting to work when we're unhappy but he's really come a long way and is getting himself to work and he's doing what needs to get done...in a lot of ways. No excuses, no whining. Just getting it done, whatever it may be.
Last night we spent some quality time together for the first time since I moved in and it turns out we have other things in common that I wasn't aware prior to now.
Yet, he's also the opposite from me in that he actually wants and envisions things for his future. So last night I decided that it was time I started thinking about my future or at least what I want for my life. But it's such a foreign concept.
I've had to focus so hard the last few years on just getting from moment to moment...keeping my head down and one foot in front of the other...in a dark room...wearing a blindfold...that I'm missing out on things. Granted I still need my alone time (I was reminded of that today as I was out and about interacting with the world doing errands) but I need to find the balance with being social and being with good people. Oh this is not a new subject though is it?
I'm taking baby steps though...tonight was about having dinner with the lovebirds and a week from this Saturday I'm making brunch for us. And it's something to look forward to...I guess I haven't had a lot of things to look forward to lately. Fun things. I should find a way to save up for a little trip to ...somewhere, anywhere and get out of my comfort zone.
Moving out of the Fabulous' was certainly a good start to shaking things up wasn't it? I'm torn between wanting to try to put down in words how hard it was to leave that life from the physical to the emotional or just let it be what it was. No need to dwell on the past right? Appreciate it for the gift it was, learn from it and move on.
So here I am...new walls around me. New roof over my head. New garage to park in. And yet I think I need to really actually do something about my....life. No more talking the talk but walking the walk
I've got so many excuses but I'm tired of going around in the same circles. And I need stories to tell. :P
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them