Happy 2011. And life is the same. I don't know why I thought that life would somehow be different in a new year.
(Duh, if you want to change you have to be the change right?)
I had a brief one-on-one with my manager tonight. And she tries so hard with me to keep me positive. I don't make it easy for her sometimes. Tonight I was moaning and groaning about that there is just so much shit happening all at once and I am overwhelmed. Between the stuff with the car/my financial irresponsibility, my boredom and frustrations with work, my physical self issues, my hate of winter and cold weather I'm not exactly the most charming company these days. (Not that I went into all of that with her...)
It's just all too much sometimes.
And it's all I can do sometimes to get out of bed in the morning. I'm toying with the idea of going back into therapy...
Blah.
And on top of all of that, I'm restless with my life. I find myself in a routine and while some routine and structure is good for me, I'm beginning to wonder if this is all there is. Is this is as good as it gets? (LOVE LOVE that movie!)
Again, I know, if I want to change it up, it's up to me but the thing is that I don't know what I want out of life outside of the basic need to work and the occasional get-together with friends and family.
Maybe I just need a life coach? Too bad they cost money. (Not that I don't think they deserve to get paid for what they do...) *sigh*
☮ ☯ ♠ Ω ♤ ♣ ♧ ♥ ♡
Meh. Maybe it's just a case of the winter doldrums. I spent most of the night before last (after a low-key date w/B) and most of yesterday and last night watching "Firefly" and then after done w/all the ep's, watching "Serenity". I've seen them both before but just was in the mood for a little sci-fi w/a hint of western thrown in for good measure. Nothing like drowning yourself in a little TV to take your mind off your troubles.
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OK, that's enough of that tonight. Think I'll just go take a shower and try to crash out at a decent hour tonight.
Onward. One foot in front of the other.
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them