Before I write this post tonight, I really should move my lazy butt up off this bed and walk the 3 feet to the bathroom. Not sure why I'm putting it off. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
I'm just so warm and cozy snuggled up under my comforter. Enjoying the feel of freshly laundered sheets. B was over tonight and it was a nice slice of domesticity to have his help in turning the mattress around and then putting the sheets on the bed.
Tomorrow, technically now today since it's after midnight, is the anniversary of making the choice to put poor Louis out of his misery. The hardest day (outside of the days of finding out my grandpa had died and the day of his funeral) of my young life.
I still think of him, Louis, every single day in one way or another. Usually when I'm in my room and looking around at his favorite places to sleep, like the end of the bed. Sebastian has adopted that now and it's sweet. I am grateful that the Fabulous has her "kids" that have become dear to me and fill some of the space that was left in my heart after saying good-bye to Louis.
Sebastian, with his fur several shades of ginger is actually about the same size and sheds just about as much! ...but that is the only thing they have in common. Louis was a cranky old man w/everyone else especially in the last year or so of his life and Sebastian is more of a lover not a fighter and sweet as can be.
But will I ever want another pet of my own again? No. Nope. No. I am content with loving the pets in the house and will miss them when it comes time to move out but I am still done with taking on the responsibilities of my own. The ability to not only feed and clean up after them combined with loving care and attention is just a bit much for me now. (I'm not exactly succeeding 100% in taking proper care of myself let alone another)...it feels a bit selfish when I know there are lots of animals that need loving homes out there but I am just going to draw that line in the sand.
So a year ago it felt like the end of the world and I never thought I would be done with the crying but life just goes on doesn't it? You keep just getting up each day and putting one foot in front of the other.
I hope that wherever Louis and/or his spirit is, he knows I miss him, will always miss him.
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them