Doh!

I'm never going to be anyone other than who I am and live a life different than what mine is.

That's not a bad thing at all. I'm finally starting to understand.

See, I'm not sure exactly how I thought my life was supposed to be but I never thought it was going to be...this one I've got. So I think that maybe I've not been paying the most attention to the everyday details and definitely not enough to my family and friends.

So the upcoming new year is on the brain and I'm starting to think about the year ahead. I do love the idea of a "fresh" new year...it's like a fresh start. We get to hit the "reset" button (...now why don't we do this just whenever?) And things that are reset are things that can be on ongoing thing. No need to freak out when fail or fall short...um, hell, I hope I'm making sense.

It's been a long few days and more to come this week. I agreed to work for a co-worker on the 24th. (Co-workers who are begging for the 25th are out of luck from me...I need a day off! (You know how cranky I get when I work too many days in a row!) )

But it's not an entirely without joy week for me. A certain someone (and a half) is going out of town and there will be sleepover(s). Yay!

Moving on...then Friday I take Shanna to the airport. I'm waffling big time on whether to go or not. With all the of storms we had this past weekend and people not being able to travel when they were scheduled for, it has me thinking do I really want to gamble with not being able to get back to work myself when I'm supposed to. Maybe I just leave my fate up to the gods and see what happens. The only thing is that I might have left it too late to get my confirmed flights in and out of NY. Ben was stuck there again! . Silly boy but a gambler! I admire his balls. Going to NY this time of year!

Man, can't believe Christmas is this week. I want to pick up a couple of things for a couple of people but am being lazy. Maybe that's the real reason I don't really celebrate. What a hassle when it's cold out to have to go and buy stuff for people. Then again, that's another excuse. I'm fairly savvy at the online shopping thing.

Had a good weekend last weekend. Picked up Shanna from work Thursday night and we chilled out at her place for a bit which was fun (she's got a wonderfully comfortable couch...I miss having a big, soft, comfy couch to hang out on!) and then Friday was hanging out with a couple of special people. Bless them both for being willing to hang out with me and each other at the same time. ('Nuff said about THAT) and we watched some good flicks. "Four Christmases" and "Julie and Julia" (or is it "Julia and Julie"?) Then we played some "Little Big Planet" which is a blast (especially when you are playing with people who let you tell them to stop being mean and give you positive feedback! Uh, guess I should work accepting constructive criticism a wee bit more) (have you played it? It's so cool!) and there was lots of yummy food. Bill's chinese food really is the best in town.

So Louis is hanging in there. Not throwing up as much, still eating, though still not as much as he used to, still drinking water and doing his business in the cat box. He is still affectionate and able to jump up and down off the bed so I'm not worrying about him as much right now. But yeah, he's an old man. Scotty was remembering around the same year as me as to what year he was born. So [our] boy is around 16/17 years old.

Is it awful that when that horrible, fucking horrible day comes that I hope it's like he just goes to sleep and doesn't wake up? No pain. Just peace. Fuck. Gotta change the topic now because just thinking about this is too much right now.

Ahem. OK.

Well, not really much else to say right now. Just keep on keepin' on for this chick.

(You know I really wanted my mom to be reading this...my mom the writer (amongst other things) but I think I swear too much so I hope she isn't!)