Sign Language for this week. And OMG. Totally true.
Leo(July 23-Aug. 22) Despite your love of luxury, most Leos deal with poverty pretty well. Unlike your sensual Taurean cousins, who get frustrated when things aren’t top-quality, Leos really only need a few special things in their lives; the rest can be rather plain, cheap, or ordinary. This ability to make do with less will serve you well this week and in the coming months, but make sure you don’t deprive yourself completely. Selectively pamper yourself here and there, without breaking the bank. Indulging yourself in one or two vital ways is the key to being happy with everything else.
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Another weekend of the usual. Sleeping in, having breakfast/coffee/a cigarette and then hours spent wasting time playing around with my FB games. Waiting for the phone to ring to see if it might be tonight that I have a date with my sweetie.
Actually I've not been completely useless. Yesterday I was able to figure out what health insurance benefits to have for next year and did my sign up.
Today, laundry. Well, a load was put in the washer anyway. Suppose I ought to go and put it in the dryer now...or at least at some point soon. And I also finally called and made an appointment for the dentist. Actually that feels like BIG accomplishment. Go "Sam"!
It's been a rough month in terms of being motivated get a lot done, let alone get to work. Everyday is a struggle to get up and go out and about. Do I maybe need to increase the dosage of my happy pill? Go back into therapy? I don't know. Maybe it's just the changing of the season. It's getting colder. (Oh wait, another task accomplished this week was getting out the sweaters and warmer clothes for easy access and pulling out some clothes that I would like to donate to a shelter for women.)
Anyhoo...just feeling...blah. Not liking that I've taken so much time off of work as I have but unable to resist the temptation. It was almost better when I could NOT be absent. Financially it's killing me...I'm behind on bills and after having had them under control for the last year or so, I don't like this. I just have to force myself to not take so much time off. I have to think about what I want and if I want to more than just survive...exist, and it's gonna take some self-discipline. When I get to work it's not so bad. It's the getting up and going that is so hard. At least with the 2nd shift I don't have to be getting up when it's still dark out.
Well, speaking of that, actually tomorrow I have to get up pretty early. I've agreed to accompany Ryan as he goes house hunting w/his Realtor. I have to be at his house by 8:15am!!! (Now that's what I call friendship/love!) I think it will actually be a good experience for me as I ponder what to do myself when it comes time to changing my living situation...which will eventually change.
While I love the thought of having my own place, a small place to call my very own, the reality of the responsibility of that scares the bejeezus outta me. But I'm oh so tired of moving. I guess I'll see what I learn tomorrow and maybe that will clarify things for me.
☮ ☯ ♠ Ω ♤ ♣ ♧ ♥ ♡
Regardless of seeing B tonight, I really should go take a shower. I tend to get careless when I don't have to be anywhere. It's like, why bother? But I realize I've got to start caring and taking better care of myself and maybe that will help me emotionally. Maybe not.
So OK, I'll go put the clothes in the dryer and take a shower. Come back to this later...
Or maybe not shower yet. But I did put the stuff in the dryer. Re: a shower...the bathroom is so so cold...
I guess just call me Eeyore right now. It feels so completely self-indulgent right now to be so whiny. I know things could be worse. But sometimes I just wish I was living someone else's life. Be a completely different person. Be anyone other than myself.
I've realized lately why I like the yin and yang symbol so much, because I truly am a creature of light and dark. My light side comes out when I'm with other people, or at work and when I'm at home, it's all dark baby. There is no gray. Just simply the light and the dark. I like the definition that Wikipedia gives..."Yin yang are complementary opposites within a greater whole. Everything has both yin and yang aspects, although yin or yang elements may manifest more strongly in different objects or at different times. Yin yang constantly interacts, never existing in absolute stasis."
If I ever get up the guts to get a tattoo, that would be what I would get. A nice, clean, small one...
Hmm. Well, I suppose this enough for now. (Aren't you glad you took the time to read this? :P)
Musings from a big and beautiful sometimes "drama queen" on her current state of existence
What's It All About?
"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates
While you’re here, in this time and in this space, you are beautiful and you are perfect.
You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
Noire
She'll be 2 years in 2 months! Time flies!
Things I'm grateful for everyday....
- My family
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
- My friends, old and new.
- A roof over my head.
- My computer & internet access
- Being employed (even if I don't always like things about my job)
- The public library and the joy of borrowing books with/on/for my Kindle
- That I can walk on two legs, use 2 arms/hands, have ten fingers/toes, can see and hear, etc. (uh, no offense to anyone who is physically challenged)
- Other people's creativity and efforts
- The love of a good man (he IS good)
Current Favorite Quotes
“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are." ~ Joseph Campbell
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens
"We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castañeda
"..there’s something lovely about knowing that when it’s right, you really know it’s right because you’ve already been through all the wrong." ~ Sade
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain
(This bit not so much as a quote but somethings I wrote down that I want to keep and this looks like a good place to do it)
7-25-07
1. Almost everything comes from almost nothing.
2. The best way to predict your future is to create it.
3. Leap and the net will appear.
Facts of Life (per Sonya Friedman)
- 1. No one can bring your life to you
- 2. No matter what you do, someone important isn't going to like it
- 3. Though painful, rejection won't kill you - it may even lead to growth
- 4. Every choice means giving up something different
- 5. Some people aren't capable of giving you what you're trying to get from them
- 6. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others
- 7. There are no quick fixes that can permanently change your life
- 8. Life is on a rheostat, not an on/off switch
- 9. Some problems cannot be solved - but you can make peace with them